{"id":161,"date":"2020-09-25T18:49:53","date_gmt":"2020-09-25T18:49:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/?page_id=161"},"modified":"2020-09-28T23:51:05","modified_gmt":"2020-09-28T23:51:05","slug":"episode-4","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/corps\/transcript-hub\/episode-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Transcript &#8211; Episode 4"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"161\" class=\"elementor elementor-161\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-d81a254 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"d81a254\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f3ef571\" data-id=\"f3ef571\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-dca02fe elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"dca02fe\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">TRANSCRIPT - EPISODE 4<br>Uncle Stickey's House of Humours - vol I<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-aaa0597 elementor-hidden-phone elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"aaa0597\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span class=\"s1\">(Transcription by Micha Cavaseno, contact for transcription work&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/transcripts-4-uncle-stickeys-house-of-humours-vol-i\/mcavaseno@gmail.com\">here<\/a>)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/5783490\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/forward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/1b1b1b\/\" width=\"100%\" height=\"90\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><b>[Music Fades In:&nbsp; Skagos \u2013 Blossoms Will Sprout From the Carcass]<\/b><b><br><\/b><b><br><\/b><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Previously, on Ghostpuncher Corps. Torment! Ear-splitting, mind-shattering torment.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK well Mikey\u2019s gonna push that button unless somebody stops him.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 Coulda called that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Like I\u2019m walking towards the button right now.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>I\u2019m fine with this.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t\u2026 know that\u2026 we should touch that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s like a crushing wave of sound. Penetrating your skull-<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ghosts were punched!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Her eyes just kind of roll over and she closes them and listens for a second and then she summons this very very intense wave of Eldritch energy.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ve got my bat out, and I\u2019m just&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mystery abound!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So a woman in a fucking beautiful white turtleneck walks out, yeah I knew that\u2019d be all Petua\u2019s jam.<\/p>\n<p>My name is Anya St. John, I\u2019m with the Lazarus foundation?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith :&nbsp;<\/b>So light your torches, ready your blades, and keep an eye out for peril. As we join the adventures of the Ghostpuncher Corps.<\/p>\n<p><b>[Musical interlude]<\/b><b><br><\/b><b><br><\/b><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>I slump down to the nearest sittable surface, looking kind of defeated\u2026. Well?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m guessing this is some kind of opposition company. Which, given context is a very strange formatting but\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah\u2026 No, no shit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Seems how this is.<br><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[sighs] Well?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>The uh, that radio crackles once more and you hear Luci\u2019s voice on the other end\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUh\u2026 Hey guys, how\u2019s it going?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[sighs]&#8230;. Great.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hm?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh now she asks&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, the trucknuts aren\u2019t a problem anymore if that\u2019s\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cThat\u2019s good!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;However, Lazarus-<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cLa-Lazarus! Oh, goddamnit. OK. Uhm\u2026 Ok, so. Hm. See that\u2019s, I was tr-, honestly? OK. Hmmm. I guess I should let you in on a couple things. Kind of seems like you guys are pretty confused at this point. Um&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m very confused.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah [indecipherable]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;To say the least.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>\u201cMikey, that just seems kinda like a state of being for you and I- By the way, Hi Mikey. I\u2019m Luci.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hi. I\u2019m Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cHi Mikey. Um\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Hi.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hi, uhhhh\u2026.<\/p>\n<p>[slight tittering]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hi.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cOK, Ok, alright. Uh, so this is kind of why I- why I brought you in all uh\u2026. I know it&#8217;s quite mysterious, maybe a little disorienting. You didn\u2019t really know what was going on, but I mean, I had-&#8230;. I\u2019ve had a number of teams out hunting for the same things that y\u2019all have been hunting for. The uh, kinds of things. Aaaand, I\u2019ve been having some problems with, um, I guess \u2018Data Security\u2019 is what we\u2019d call it here. These goddamn motherfucking Lazarus pricks keep\u2026 doing exactly what I imagine they just did. They kinda did the whole contagion routine? Showed up, pew pew pew, and take the guy away, is that right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah they took that bubblegum guy away, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cYes\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yes, they\u2026 yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cOK. Well\u2026 Hm. I\u2019d say \u2018don\u2019t let them do that in the future\u2019, but I know that\u2019s kind of a big ask considering there\u2019s four of you and it\u2019s like, they\u2019re a multinational corporation. Uh, hmm, OK. I\u2019ll get back to you on what I want you to do the next time Lazarus shows up? But um-\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[urgently] Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;They\u2019re a multinational corporation. We\u2019re supposed to not let them- I-it seems like you two, pardon me, but it seems like you are, you have the same goal if our job-<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cOh Absolutely Not!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>So, what are they doing that we wouldn\u2019t have done.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cHmm! Hmm. Hmm\u2026 I don\u2019t know exactly what they\u2019re doing? But uh, no multinational corporations have&nbsp;<i>Very<\/i>&nbsp;different interests and I uh, really don\u2019t fucking trust them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>I, alright, I mean\u2026 So you don\u2019t know what it is that they\u2019re doing but you don\u2019t trust them, but they\u2019re killing the same things as you, is that about&#8230;?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cThat\u2026 That thing\u2019s not dead.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cBut now that everything\u2019s kind of settled down with Lazarus, or uh with- with the blob, I\u2019m just gonna let y\u2019all mark one in the win column, for this? Nothing you can do about Lazarus, at least, nothing we can do right now. Um, soooo\u2026 Why don\u2019t y\u2019all, it\u2019s the middle of the night! Have a nice little look around the uh, the shop that you\u2019re in and I dunno, if you can steal something! I dunno. Anyway, peace!\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>And then the radio crackles and turns off.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[whispered] Lazarus\u2026 who\u2019s up top?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Up top? You mean the CEO of Lazarus?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 How did they get this information? How did they get ANY of this information? About anything that they intercept.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda<\/b>: Well, I would really like to know that too, because if they\u2019ve harnessed whatever it is that\u2019s out there\u2026 I don\u2019t know. And I think that Petua sticks the business card deep into her pocket and just kind of goes quiet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You look through Jackie&#8217;s Customs and you found a number of modifications for the winnebago that Kevin, you work through the night to attach to the winnebago. Does anyone wanna give me a summary, where did y\u2019all land on what those modifications were gonna be?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Alright. So, well, we chose updating our winnebago to go with Improved Tires which is a +2 to Vehicle Handling checks, a bagel-maker called the Winne-Bagel which produces 4 Bagels at the beginning of each day, each Bagel can be used each day to recover 1 d4 HP. The Fuzzy Dice, which is also a style play but it does 2 per day add 1 d6 per handling check. And then we\u2019re also going with, because Elektra is very into it, the Exterior Mounted Subwoofer which allows bards to cast from within the winnebago at a x2 range. So we\u2019re getting onto our Mad Max shit, basically.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Awesome.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 it\u2019s literally her jam.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s my jam.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Now, while you were going around Jackie\u2019s Customs, Kevin you did spot a corporate purchasing credit card just kinda sitting out on the desk.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 Oh!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Did you do anything about that?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah. Yeah I [stammers] I put it in my pocket.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hell yeah you did, perfect. You\u2019ve got that credit card.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Nice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You can write that down\u2026 That may come up in the future! Um, so\u2026 You\u2019re all set up. You all pile into the Winnebago with all of it\u2019s new fancy modifications and you peel away from Jackie\u2019s Customs; well in time to get away before they come back and realize that a bunch of their shit has been stolen and there was also apparently some weird play-doh fight in the garage last night. Let\u2019s see! Who takes the wheel? I feel like Mikey keeps doing that but uh\u2026 yeah I don\u2019t know!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>There is the Jesus option.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Um! [raps on wood] Jesus is actually, Jesus only gets included in the DLC so I\u2019m actually gonna need like, 4.99 from y\u2019all, if you want Jesus to take the wheel.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Gotcha.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god&#8230;. Did she tell us to come back? Did we like, were we ordered to report back or what?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>No, no, she actually said\u2026 I was actually asking about who took the wheel because, once you got in the car, once you started driving, the radio actually crackled on to life and she just kind of \u201cOh hey, just, real quick. I don\u2019t have all the details for your next job quite nailed down yet, but just start heading to Arizona\u2026 K?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean it\u2019s pretty big, is there a part of it you wanted us to aim for?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cWell I mean you\u2019re in Texas so-\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s an Arizona<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cStart\u2026 start driving left.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Radio Crackle]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;All right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Did you say \u2018What IS Arizona\u2019 or \u2018What\u2019s IN Arizona\u2019?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s Arizona.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s a kind of arid zone.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;That makes sense.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 Holy shit. You just blew Elektra\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs] Wordplay! Yeah, I think whoever\u2019s least tired should take the wheel, we\u2019ve all just had a big day. If anyone wants to drive, I don\u2019t know, Mikey it seems your purview but if you want a break we can definitely chill out on that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s ok to drive.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright Mikey. Then I guess Mikey\u2019s driving to Arizona.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. So, you\u2019re driving to Arizona-<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What does the Arizona look like? I\u2019m imagining like a really big lizard.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, y\u2019know, that\u2019s not totally inaccurate.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Well\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well\u2026 it\u2019s rectangular. And, I mean, on the map it\u2019s usually kind of red, but I\u2019m not really sure. Actually I haven\u2019t ever been to Arizona so, I just kind of know what I\u2019ve seen from y\u2019know, images and stuff. I think you\u2019ll-<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey is imagining a giant, fearsome red cube. This is the idea you\u2019ve put into his head.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[Snickers] Good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s more trapezoidal.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Is it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s sort of a general amorphous polygon. Yeah\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 Ok, well, anyway-<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey doesn\u2019t know what the words \u2018amorphous polygon\u2019 mean but they scared him.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I think that\u2019s kind of a summary of the relationship between Mikey and Petua so far is that I just keep saying shit, and the fantasy just starts to unfold. All these terrifying words, alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So you\u2019re driving down the highway, and I need uh, all around the party I need Constitution saving throws.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted groans and dice rolls]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[Nervous Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Nice, Nice. That is a\u2026 19.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;That would be a 5.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, 15.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;And a 16.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Sixteen, ok. Not to get too crass, or anything like that, but Mikey and Petua, you need to pee.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Um\u2026<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Snickers]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And Mikey you spot on the side of the road, at the next exit, a big colorful sign for a \u201cUncle Stickey\u2019s House of Humors\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, as soon as Mikey realized he had to pee he slammed on the breaks.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, just wait\u2026 Stopped in the middle of the highway!?!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;[nonchalantly] Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;From the perspective of everybody else, suddenly Mikey slammed on the breaks. Everything shifted, stuff fell over, the winnebago screeched to a halt. He opened the door and Mikey walked off the road, squatted for a minute, and then came back. And kept driving.<\/p>\n<p>[Continued Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chuckling] Okay!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Tha-that tracks.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeaaaah\u2026 You know what that does\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, that does track\u2026 I mean\u2026 I won\u2019t be doing that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhm, when you say \u2018House of Humours\u2019, is that spelled with a \u2018u\u2019?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It IS spelled with a \u2018u\u2019!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;So like, \u2018the four humors\u2019 as in.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean-<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No, that\u2019s just how you spell humour.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh well there\u2019s a- Ok. Wait is there a\u2026 Is both of them spelled that way?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;They are here.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Nah, I think there is \u2018h-u-m-o-u-r\u2019 right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, as The Four Humors.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mhmm.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Which is also I believe just the\u2026 it\u2019s&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;The British way of spelling it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Right, right, it\u2019s one of those.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No it\u2019s the&nbsp;<i>correct<\/i>&nbsp;way to spell it.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;[Re-Affects the Twang] But we\u2019re in Arizona.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 What?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanada:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, are we? I don\u2019t think we\u2019re there yet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No, no, you\u2019re still- You\u2019re actually in New Mexico at this point.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhh.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You\u2019re, you\u2019re poppin\u2019 down&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Where\u2019s the Old Mexico?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s down south.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh. That makes sense.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>So, I guess Mikey didn\u2019t need to pull over to pee but uh, Mikey does take notice of this sign for Uncle Stickey\u2019s&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s on the sign?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Its\u2026 lot of bright colors?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oooh!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And it says \u201cUncle Stickey\u2019s House of Humours\u201d and<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey can\u2019t read. Like, what\u2019s on the sign, are there pictures?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;There\u2019s smiley faces\u2026 And a seal with a little hat!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Cool.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh that\u2019s very good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, Mikey excitedly points at the sign to everybody and asks y\u2019all what it says.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah, well, I guess it\u2019s Uncle Stickey\u2019s House of Humours, but I wonder if they have a bathroom, because I really have to stop.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I just stopped back there! Why didn\u2019t you go?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, well, I mean. I probably could have but it\u2019s not really my jam. There\u2019s not enough, y\u2019know, not enough vegetation around here to squat in for my personal needs. So I think the House of Humors is probably the best bet. Is there any way you could pull over Mikey?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So you screech to a hall in the parking lot of Uncle&#8211; And I want to mention It\u2019s spelled Stickey: \u2018S-T-I-C-K-E-Y\u2019&#8230;? Like the name not the adjective.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, it\u2019s a surname\u2026 His Christian name.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah! Yeah it\u2026 Exactly. And it is a gas station\/convenience store on one end and then there is just this, it\u2019s built into the same building, but it\u2019s this kind of nondescript- well\u2026. I say nondescript but it is not especially stylized, but it\u2019s very brightly colored in like, red and green and blue and all of those other colors too. It\u2019s just fuckin\u2026 it\u2019s just like, screaming with pigment at you. Uh, yeah!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Is that the Arizona?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;No, that is not the Arizona. If that was where we were supposed to hang out I don\u2019t think I could handle it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, and there is a sign outside that building that says \u201cUncle Stickey\u2019s House of Humours\u201d.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And there\u2019s actually a restroom at the gas station side.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh good, ok. Petua runs in there for sure\u2026 I mean, if that\u2019s allowed. [Chuckle]<br><b><br><\/b><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh, absolutely. No first you need to get a key from the attendant&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean do I need to make a piss check or what?!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Can I just go?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No, you\u2019re good, you\u2019re \u2018gone\u2019.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Good!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t wanna get TOO bogged down in that, I just wanted to get y\u2019all off the highway.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Ok, good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;This isn\u2019t GURPS<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You\u2019re outside Uncle Stickey\u2019s. What do you do while Petua\u2019s in the restroom?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey just kind of gets out to wander around and have a look.<br><b><br><\/b><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Right on. Which, I mean, there\u2019s just kinda\u2026 I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever, well I actually know that you haven\u2019t been in, just like, kinda middle of nowhere New Mexico but there\u2019s just kind of dirt and bushes in most directions and um\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m from Alberta, I\u2019m familiar with dirt and bushes in every direction<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;They\u2019re very, they\u2019re a lot&nbsp;<i>drier<\/i>&nbsp;dirt and bushes. So\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Delicious!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh dear\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, wait, hold on really quickly? This conversation made me have to pee, so I\u2019ll be right back.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god, OK.<\/p>\n<p>[Musical Fanfare]<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s literally just us right now? Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, dope, what happened?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, everybody else decided that now would be a good time to pee.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god, this is bad! We can\u2019t have any more pee related plotlines in our podcast! Because otherwise, this could- This rich piss tapestry that Lilith\u2019s going to be weaving for us is going to be making us go to the bathroom.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh man.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I came back to rich piss tapestry, that\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>That\u2019s what your weaving for us!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Its, you\u2019re weaving a rich piss tapestry as I was saying\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I was saying if you\u2019re going to continue weaving this rich piss tapestry for us, A: I really am happy \u2018cause it means that I can keep saying that and it just rolls off the tongue but also there\u2019s just gonna be a lot of Pavlovian responses here?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ll just cut back in here? Uh, I talked about the characters having to pee and uh, about 2 minutes later we all needed to pee. Sooo uhm\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Soo\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I did some fun stuff with my alone time. You might wanna leave it in, I dunno.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OH&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t wanna, No. We don\u2019t wanna know.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m lying, I\u2019m lying.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;OK Good. Whatever piss related stuff you did that didn\u2019t involve going to the bathroom, we don\u2019t wanna know.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>You\u2019re right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I came into this conversation at a weird point.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean\u2026 There haven\u2019t been a lot of great points to jump into this one to be perfectly honest.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh boy. This has just been a weird conversation.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Ohhhh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright I\u2019m back.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh cool! Cool, cool, everyone\u2019s back now. Awesome. Soo\u2026 Elektra, Kevin and Mikey. The three of you are outside um, Uncle Stickey\u2019s. Yeah, whaddya do?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s the brightest, shiniest thing around?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhm\u2026 There\u2019s like, hm. You know what? Honestly, just because it\u2019s the thing that gets a lot of use, there\u2019s a doorbell? That\u2019s the brightest shiniest thing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ll go press the doorbell.<\/p>\n<p>[doorbell rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, great. Great. And you hear from inside, kind of a ding-dong and\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I press the doorbell again.<\/p>\n<p>[Doorbell rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh and there\u2019s another one!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Again.<\/p>\n<p>[doorbell rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, and there\u2019s another one and&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Again.<\/p>\n<p>[Doorbell Rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, a man comes out of the front door to Uncle Stickey\u2019s and he\u2019s: Oh. Y\u2019know, I kind of expected someone younger! To be perfectly honest.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I press the button again.<\/p>\n<p>[Doorbell Rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, yeah, that\u2019s the doorbell. Boy, what\u2019s your name?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hello Mikey, could you please stop doing that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Wonderful! Wonderful, OK. Um, was there something you needed?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 No.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, ok. Um, do you want to come inside and have a look around?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Sure!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK! And he opens the door, gesturing for all of you to come inside. I\u2019m gonna say, Petua, this is about when you-<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I was about to say, this is when Petua comes back around the corner, much relieved.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You come in, and you find it\u2026 Have you ever been in a gift shop before? It\u2019s one of those.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah\u2026 oh dear.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;The Same 18 shirts. Yeah, yeah. There\u2019s a teddy bear hugging an American flag. Snow globes\u2026 Lotta, lotta r&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey is fascinated with the snow globes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;There\u2019s one that has uh, the city of Albuquerque in it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Wait, the- Oh the- I forgot that were talking about snow globes, and so I was like \u2018Wait, what?\u2019<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Is there that same rack that sells the same brand of incense that every single gift shop ever\u2026 ? Because that\u2019s a thing, I don\u2019t know if you know that that\u2019s a thing\u2026 Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Absolutely\u2026 Yeah, yeah there is.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ve never seen that in gift shops.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh my god, every gift shop of every state park has the same brand of incense and it\u2019s like a thing. Anyways\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Why incense, that\u2019s so strange.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, I\u2019m not really sure. I mean, I think it might be a recent development but like, it\u2019s become this kind of running joke with my friends that we buy this one specific thing of incense whenever we go hiking, I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know with incense after you\u2019re sweaty and just have some snot-nosed kids you just took to like, a picnic. But I guess that\u2019s the time for it, anyways.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah! Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So you look around, you see all these things. You also see a woman who is, you\u2019re sure like\u2026 I don\u2019t know how good everybody is at estimating heights but you\u2019re like, ok, 7 feet tall at the very least. And she is built, and she is like&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 hhhi.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;&#8230;moving boxes and just kind of wearing like a sleeveless shirt. And the man who greeted you before who you notice he looks to be about in his 60s, he\u2019s\u2026 he looks old, but kind of intense in a really weird way? His eyes almost appear dead at first glance but when you look into them, you realize that this man can peer into your soul with a fleeting glance.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Do all of us just go up and look at him in the eyes and make that conclusion independently of each other or something\u2026? Right, right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No no, it just kind of occurs to you\u2026 Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I think that\u2019s a way, way bigger thought than Mikey is capable of having about another person.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So, Ok, specifically for Mikey. Mikey, you, he, it literally reminds him of the man with the snow shovel from the first Home Alone movie.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, what year did that come out? I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s within Mikey\u2019s range of stuff that he\u2019s experienced.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Shit!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Was it like, \u201893?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah, then it totally wouldn\u2019t have.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh goddamnit! OK&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>Syd: 1990.<\/p>\n<p>Cassidy: Mikey has been with the Sasquatches since 1990\u2026 yep.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Since 1990. Ok, ok. Damn, OK. Well\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;He was born in 1985 if anyone cares.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I was born in \u201891 babe, I gotta pull these references uh\u2026 What is the 5 years earlier version of the guy with the snow shovel from the first Home Alone movie?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s&#8211; it doesn\u2019t matter, let\u2019s move on.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Anywho, he stands behind the counter of the cash register and you see on the cash register a little like taped on, printed out sign that says \u201cASK ME ABOUT UNCLE STICKEY\u2019S SECRET TEAMWORK TREASURE CLUB CHALLENGE\u201d. Wow, I wrote that one and it took a grip to get it out. OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Wow.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Uncle Stickey\u2019s Secret Teamwork Treasure Club Challenge, there we go!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, Elektra\u2019s interested in that&#8230; tall woman? Just as a, as a\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Interested in what way?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Well like, about what age would you say is\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, she looks to be, about I would say like\u2026 30?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Physically attracted sort of way.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s still looking at snow globes.<\/p>\n<p>[Music starts to fade in]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Welcome, welcome! Welcome to my House of Humours.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh god\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;He\u2019s kind of waving his arms around.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;The guy who let us in?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah the guy who let you in.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah, a \u2018house of humours\u2019. Is that supposed to be about, are those things funny or what?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, I mean, some of those postcards\u2026 they got, pretty good little ribs on \u2018em.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 do they?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I- I assure you, they do!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Petua walks over and picks up a postcard. Just doesn\u2019t really break eye-contact.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s looking at the postcards now too.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh\u2026 Shit, now I have to come up with a postcard on the fly! Ah, fuck!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey picks up one with a er\u2026 Bikini-Lady on it, which says \u2018Wish you were her!\u2019.<br>[Assorted Snorts]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Thank y- Yes\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s this say? Is this funny?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Petua looks at it. Uh\u2026 I mean it depends on what your definition of funny is but I\u2019m gonna say no\u2026. I mean, it\u2019s just a postcard. Unfortunately.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh.<\/p>\n<p><b>Petua:<\/b>&nbsp;I kinda look back up at the guy. So, you sell\u2026 what here? I mean, is this place a destination around here, are there tourists around here? Or is this just a rest shop?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Well it\u2019s a, it&#8217;s a rest shop, a gift shop and well, it could be a whole lot more!<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;So, is this like a Eyes Wide Shut thing, or\u2026 Scientology&#8230; ?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, uh\u2026 we don\u2019t get HBO around here.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh God.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s just a little rest shop! We do have, we do have \u2018Uncle Stickey\u2019s Secret Teamwork Treasure Club Challenge\u2019! And of course, \u2018Uncle Stickey\u2019s Secret Teamwork Treasure Club\u2019, which you get entrance to as part of the challenge. The aforementioned challenge. Which I\u2019m not gonna say it yet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Right. Is there an acronym you can start adopting or something? Anyways\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Woah, what\u2019s an acronym? That sounds dangerous.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;They can be.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh. Yeah, sometimes they can be.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s a way of shortening your speech and I love the sound of my own voice so, fuck that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, well, it sounds like you- Wait a minute. I kinda look back at everybody, and then I look back at the guy. What is the nature of this club challenge?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah yes, my humble treasure club, I\u2019m so glad you asked.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, you kind of led me into it, so.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I-I feel that was very organic, actually! I feel there was&#8211;<br><b><br><\/b><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No, you mentioned it like, four times.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, well! Uhm. [clears throat] At the beginning all participants are allowed and encouraged to purchase items from Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Chest. In order to join Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Club, you must pass Uncle Sticky\u2019s Treasure Club Initiation Challenge, administered by yours truly and my darling niece Bernice. He points to the&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Are you Uncle Stickey?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I am Uncle Stickey, that is. Yes\u2026. Hello Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, that makes sense\u2026. I\u2019m Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;The tall lady, Bernice,.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hello.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes, yes. The tall lady&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hello Bernice. Mikey waves at Bernice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;H-Hey, what\u2019s up.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Elektra also waves at Bernice\u2026. Hi.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;H-Hey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, alright. So we have a treasure chest\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. And the challenge&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Like a Pirate?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Yes, very similar to a pirate. Except&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s eyes light up.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. The challenge that you must endure as a team-building exercise, but I prefer to think of it as the ecstatic annihilation of the barriers between you and your teammates!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>\u2026. I\u2019m gonna go wait in the car.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;If you pass, you keep your items, and you now have lifetime membership to Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Club where you will be able to purchase items from any one of my fantastic roadside attractions that pepper this damned nation.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ahhhh. OK. I think I see where this is going, alright. So y&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And if you fail, you will be forced to surrender all of your purchases, by way of Bernice. I\u2019ve taken a snap bracelet from a crying toddler, I don\u2019t give a shit, try me.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 That\u2019s\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Elektra blushes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, nothing like manhandling children to really get it goin\u2019! Uh, oh god, well, alright. I kind of shrug; I mean, we don\u2019t have- I look back at y\u2019know, Kevin, Elektra and Mikey. We don\u2019t really have any supplies, I mean, and if we could avoid perpetrating credit fraud for as long as possible it might be worthwhile to see what this could, y\u2019know, do for us? What do you guys think?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>We get 4 bagels a day right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I wanna find the treasure.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, man cannot live on bagels alone so, and I think Mikey\u2019s into it. We should throw him a bone, he\u2019s been really good about driving us this whole time so\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Treasure Hunts do sound good but\u2026 Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;[Hyperactively] Like pirates! Like a parrot on your shoulder, or your hook hand!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah, definitely.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;What was that movie, with Cyndi Lauper\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god. I definitely don\u2019t know\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[sotto voce] I\u2019m talking about Goonies but&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, OHHH. WAIT. HOLD ON, THE MOVIE&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Cyndi Lauper is in The Goonies?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;She does a couple of the songs.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I did not know that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;How is Cyndi Lauper your touchstone into The Goonies? That\u2019s a deep dive.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I feel that that would be Elektra<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Cause that\u2019s Elektra\u2026. Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh it\u2019s Elektra, alright, alright. That\u2019s actually excellent alright. I\u2019m sorry for ruining your character moment with my incredulity about Cyndi Lauper. Yeah. I mean, I- Yeah. I\u2019d love to go, just like in that movie as well, to hunt for the treasure. If that\u2019s ok with everybody.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>If it doesn\u2019t take too long I guess, we were kind of\u2026 on the way to\u2026 something.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;An indeterminate direction? Yeah, no, I think we\u2019re good. I didn\u2019t really sense urgency\u2026 Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK\u2026 Well, so first I will allow you and I heard you mention Miss\u2026 What was your name again, Petua?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes, Petua.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhm, I heard you mention something about credit fraud. I hope&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>[Nervous stammers]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I hope things were okay.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Loudly] Oh that was actually a joke!&nbsp; No that was a joke.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh\u2026 Got it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;You should put it on a postcard, it\u2019s very funny if you think about it for a very long time.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah! Metaphorical.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And he just like moves over and he\u2019s just writing into, he\u2019s got like a word document that just says \u2018Postcard Ideas\u2019 and he just jots that down real quick: credit card fraud. I will find the joke later. As I was saying, in the beginning you are allowed to purchase items from Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Chest. You will still have to purchase them but you will have them available for use during your first challenge, and if you win, forevermore. And he hands you this laminated sheet of paper that has\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ooh, laminated.<br><b><br><\/b><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. It has this list of gear and\u2026 Yeah, it\u2019s got prices listed on there and you have your pick. I\u2019ll let y\u2019all peruse for a second.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oooh, I know what I want.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, is there anything jumping out at you?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah I want those shades. Absolutely I want those shades. I mean they\u2019re black, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, they\u2019re black.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I want the shades.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd<\/b>: Well then that confirms it for me, because that was my secondary pick! Can anyone guess what my primary pick is?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Hmmm. Maybe the Compressor?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Right on\u2026 Right on.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Shocker.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Kevin really wants the 4Loko.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;This is such- This is so good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh sh- That Password Cracker though\u2026 Shit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Is this just like a list of stuff?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah this is a list of stuff.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK I&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Petua goes over and reads it to, I go over and talk to Mikey. Hey Mikey, we\u2019ve got some stuff here, the treasure that\u2019s gonna be in the chest.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t know if I should do this out loud, over the podcast but I think Petua reads Mikey&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No I want you to, I want to hear what you\u2019re telling Mikey. Like I want to know how Petua is phrasing each of these things.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. We\u2019re doing this then.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2018Cause, A lot of these words on these page, he\u2019s not gonna understand.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. Well all of these items, in the pirate chest, right? Well they do different things. They can help us while we go around. So it looks like, there\u2019s a collar. Have you ever seen a collar before Mikey?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Yeah, like a dog wears.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah it helps you when you\u2019re-&#8230; It stops things from hurting you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, OK!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;And um, if you eat a berry that hurts your stomach, it\u2019ll help you out with that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t eat those berries, I know how to avoid them.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. No definitely, uh, alright. And then there\u2019s this electronic thing, I think Elektra\u2019s probably going to want that, but it helps, it\u2019ll help her to play her music a little bit better. Compressor, and it\u2019s a steel battery powered effects pedal, and allows a bard to reroll on any one spellcasting roll. So there are some Night-Vision Goggles. Have you ever, I don\u2019t know, when the sun goes down Mikey, if you can see still?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah, I can see.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda<\/b>: Ok, so you probably won\u2019t need those, but it\u2019ll help you out if anybody who does. The other thing is though, if somebody tries to attack your eyes it\u2019ll help you out there. So maybe that will be good \u2018cause y\u2019know, being able to see, that\u2019s pretty good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Then there\u2019s oh let\u2019s see, there\u2019s a bandana, it\u2019s a piece of fabric, it\u2019s called the Real Tree Bandana. And it\u2019ll be tied over, oh it\u2019ll, well\u2026 OK. If you\u2019re outside, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh-huh?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda<\/b>: And you have to sneak around, it might help you be a little more quiet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh I\u2019m really good at being quiet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and then there\u2019s a drink! It\u2019s called 4Loko, it\u2019s the banned formula. There used to be a drink that&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hell yeah! [Chuckles]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah! And it\u2019ll help you wake up if you pass out.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah and y\u2019know there\u2019s some other things that\u2019ll happen but that\u2019ll be the gist of it. And oooh! I think, Petua looks at the laser pointer, there\u2019s a Laser Pointer!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s a Laser Pointer.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well it\u2019s a dot. Um, Y\u2019know, it\u2019s a very very small light? And you can point it anywhere you want.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey just looks at you totally blankly.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;You can shoot it up into the sky and make airplane pilots crash!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I think pulls out her, she has a wristwatch and she kind of lets it catch the sun? And the reflection just kind of darts around the ceiling of this place. Like that Mikey but smaller and red.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah\u2026 And then there\u2019s a pair of sunglasses, which I think I\u2019m gonna get, and they uh, you see through illusions or anything that\u2019s not real. Well, not really I guess but they\u2019re gonna help me figure out if there\u2019s anything that\u2019s not right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;And then there\u2019s the uh, password cracker. Which, oooh, that could be interesting. So, this might not be your jam either Mikey but do you remember when we were at the police station and they had that computer there\u2026? Yeah so this will help us if we ever need to break into any of those.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, that thing didn\u2019t look very strong. I bet I could break into it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, no that wasn\u2019t one of the good ones.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhh, OK. Like there\u2019s bigger ones.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Bigger\u2026 Well sometimes the better ones are actually smaller, which is pretty crazy, but yes. And then there\u2019s some Body Oil which will help, uh, that might be good too. It\u2019ll help you move quicker I guess, and uh you can\u2019t, if you wash it off it doesn\u2019t work anymore but yeah it\u2019ll help you move more freely. And then, hmmm. There\u2019s a\u2026 Pierre Pinkenelly\u2019s Hammer. Petua kind of frowns at this one. It\u2019s a hammer that is a, mm, I\u2019m sorry. It, uh, it helps you\u2026 attack I guess. And I kind of look up from the list. Is that, sorry could you\u2026 ? I go over to the guy who was talking to us and I uh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes! Yes, was there something you needed?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, t-this hammer\u2026 that\u2019s not really, what can you&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Everything on the list is 100% guaranteed to be just as listed and 125% listed at manufacturer retail price!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026. Really?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes! These are the privileges you get when you join Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Club or whatever it was.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;So, so you\u2019re telling me- Alright, wait.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>I like to imagine that he just ended the sentence that way. Like, he just can\u2019t even remember what he makes his own thing called.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god\u2026 So, Petua looks deeply disturbed by the fact that Pierre Pinkenelly\u2019s Hammer is on sale for 249.99. And the list, I just have the list crumpled up in my hand and I say Um\u2026 While I definitely am in, do you guys, here\u2026 And I just hand the list to everyone and go quiet. Um, yeah. So that\u2019s my jam right now.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You can buy as many things as you want, there\u2019s no limit\u2026 ! I mean, I suppose there\u2019s a limit on your credit card but&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, right\u2026 It is definitely not fraudulent.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;No. No!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. Your completely above board credit card!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I, I think\u2026. Yes. I might try and buy this one with cash actually. Paper trails\u2026 not really my thing for something this important. I want the hammer! And I also definitely want the shades, but the hammer\u2026 I just want to see it, do you have it here with you!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;He brings the hammer out and he sets it down on the counter. Yeah, you can take a swing with it and you can do whatever you like. But y\u2019know, gotta pay for it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Petua just holds the hammer. Well! If you guys want to buy anything\u2026 go hog-wild.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I\u2019m definitely into the Compressor and the Password Cracker.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK\u2026 Um, Mikey anything catch your fancy?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey doesn\u2019t really know what, despite having these things described, doesn\u2019t have any real sense of what\u2019s going to be useful, so\u2026 He\u2019s just going to pass that decision on to other people.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mkay. And did anything pique Kevin\u2019s interest?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh I mean, he\u2019s all over that 4Loko.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Yeah, yeah. Um\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Uh, I think that Petua gets him the Laser Pointer just so he can know what it is.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Can we- Can I ask why this laser pointer is SIXTY DOLLARS?!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Very Powerful.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s very good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Is it like one of those extreme lasers, burns through paper, those kind of things?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s like 1, 1 watt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s, it is\u2026 it\u2019s pretty good? But it&#8217;s very overpriced. So I\u2019ve totalled up your total and looks like we\u2019re going to be\u2026 It\u2019s about uh, $769. Is that going to be cash or credit?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Nice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Credit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Credit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, OK. And he, I assume you pull out the store purchasing card?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Of course.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, yeah but wait a second? I do definitely buy Mikey a snow globe also.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Awwwww!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey wants the one that has the most trees in it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Awwww!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>There\u2019s one, this is just me editorializing here, but there\u2019s a beautiful one with I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever been in the forests outside of Santa Fe, just gorgeous. And yeah, there\u2019s a snow globe, despite the fact that it doesn&#8217;t really snow a lot up there but, whatever.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean it doesn\u2019t really snow up in Albuquerque either, but that was still the first one you mentioned.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Kevin also buys a hand-picked stack of postcards.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hell yes, ok, cool.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, what kind of pickled goods we got here?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Can I have this too? You turn around and Mikey\u2019s got a novelty T-shirt which is just\u2026 a pug\u2019s face, but over the entire shirt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chuckling] God\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Are there any of those rusty metal rifle that says \u201cWe Don\u2019t Call The Cops\u201d?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Jesus.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh, Jesus\u2026 So, yes to the pug shirt. Yes to the weird cut-out rifle because I know what you\u2019re fucking talking about and those things terrify me. And\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;They\u2019re awful.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, OK, he\u2019s totalled it all up its 869 dollars, it always just keeps ending in sixty-nine!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Nice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And so he says Could I have that credit card please?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yyyyep.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, so he takes the card and I\u2026 um\u2026 Kevin I need you to just roll me a d20.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok\u2026. That is a 5\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh-oh..<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[wincing] Oooh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Hmmm. How am I gonna do this.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, wait a minute, hold on one second!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>I have a very difficult time believing that between the four of us, none of us have any money, right? I mean, we must have something. We probably rolled for, I don\u2019t know some sort of PP for dollar conversion rate? Is<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I don\u2019t know, I don\u2019t know\u2026.&nbsp; It\u2019s kinda, I mean, I would imagine\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>I have this. Mikey reaches into his back pocket and just pulls out a leather wallet and hands it to you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Honestly? Ok. So I\u2019m going through the party right now? And we\u2019ve got \u2018mechanic\u2019, \u2018raised by sasquatches\u2019, and \u2018Soundcloud musician\u2019 so yeah, I would say that Petua is probably the only one who is Not flat broke.|<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Actually wait&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Well Mikey has all the stuff that was in the winnebago.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s true.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, OK. I take the wallet from Mikey, and open it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s clearly not Mikey\u2019s wallet.<br><b><br><\/b><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, Um\u2026 What, ok, could I, could I play some\u2026 Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Go ahead. Nonono, there\u2019s a couple credit cards, couple\u2026 there\u2019s a few 20s in there.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mhmm. Well, alright. I pull out one of the credit cards and hand it to uh, Uncle Stickey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh good, you have another card, because there was a problem with that. Here, Kevin, was it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh yeah. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Here you go. You might want to call your bank about that one.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mm-Hmm. See that\u2019s why we joke about credit fraud, because it\u2019s happened to us, and we\u2019re just trying to cope. Um, anyways\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, that\u2019s very, very understandable.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhhhh yes\u2026. Yes.<br><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh jeez. Oh god. Ok just\u2026 Again, for the people at home, Cassidy just threw an image into the discord of a\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;If any of you are familiar with themountain.com? That\u2019s where you need to go for all your t-shirt needs.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I will include a link in the description of the podcast where you can purchase that for 22 American Dollars.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s a fucking steal, and you know it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s a lot of pug face for twenty-two bucks.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>It\u2019s, it\u2019s\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s a whole body!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s at least 50 dollars of pug face.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>It\u2019s a very good pug face.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, if, if we\u2019re just going pound for pound on pug face then yes, it\u2019s a great deal. Amanda, I do need you to roll a d20.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>OK. Don\u2019t fail me now dice-a-roni. [rolling dice] Ohhh! Do I add anything to it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Not that you know of.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s an 18!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK! Ok. Oh, it looks like that transaction went through. Congratulations, here are your items. And he kinda distributes them out among you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I give the laser pointer to Mikey and tell him Don\u2019t shine it in your eyes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Ok!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Continue.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Now! In order to retain these prizes you must pass this Gauntlet of Challenges which I have for you are you ready for the Gauntlet of Challenges?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Wait\u2026 If the whole point is to retain our treasures, why did we have to pay for them?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;That was gonna be my question too, but I do think that, for some of these there\u2019s a significant mark down to their actual value. Although value is kind of fake, but yeah that\u2019s a good question.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, I mean, they\u2019re nice things they\u2019re not\u2026 I can\u2019t just give them out to anybody who passes the challenges, still have to buy them. You just, when you join Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure thing you are\u2026 marking yourself as a higher status. Higher, uh, class of adventurer. And uh, so you get cool stuff. You get to buy cool stuff! Some people don\u2019t even get to buy this cool stuff! I\u2019ve had to take it away from people&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Right. I mean I think we just DID buy it. I think we just did buy it is the thing, and you just handed it to us.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. Yes, that is correct. But as I said&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s not a great\u2026 [snort]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>As I said before; Bernice WILL take all of your items away\u2026 if you do not pass these challenges.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ooooh I forgot about Bernice. Well, fine.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s Bernice up to?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hey!&#8230; Motherfuckers better not run. Got my eye on you. And she points two fingers at her eyes and then two fingers at Elektra.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Elektra giggles.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I know your type.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[snorts and laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I think you ARE her type. Anyways\u2026 That\u2019s what this podcast needed: dyke drama. Alright. I\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I figured it was probably an eventuality.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s inevitable, I mean you saw, I couldn\u2019t use any words, I went full Agent Cody Banks when we met turtleneck woman last time. I hold my hammer and I put my\u2026 Actually, you know what? Fuck it. I put my sunglasses on, indoors, and I look at the guy and I say I\u2019m ready. So let\u2019s do it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;This is a-, I wanna just really quickly, because it was never mentioned. Those sunglasses, again, when you put them on your whole world goes black and white. They are referred to as \u2018Roddy\u2019s Shades\u2019.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mmm.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>And I\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh. Oh! Oh my god.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Thank you. It\u2019s a They Live&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;OH MY GOD! JESUS CHRIST. IT\u2019S A THEY LIVE THING.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>She got it\u2026<br><b><br><\/b><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Did y\u2019all really not get that till now?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;No! \u2018Cause I- Ohhhh, my goooood\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What else would that, like what other Roddy would that be?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean\u2026 Not everybody thinks about They Live as the Roddy Roddy Piper movie, babe.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I, well&#8211; I haven\u2019t seen They Live!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, I didn\u2019t\u2026 I just piece it together that name until just now.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, I didn\u2019t either, but\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ugh\u2026 yeah. Me neither. Jesus. Alright\u2026 Ohmigod so no, can we just break this down for just one hot delicious second?!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m wearing the sunglasses from They Live and holding onto Pierre Pinoncelli\u2019s hammer that he broke, I mean- I don\u2019t even know if I want to go into the quibbles of delicious that&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh! I just looked it up and I get it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Okay, cool. So that\u2019s what we\u2019ve got. Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, so, for the folks at home, like&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t get that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, let\u2019s, let\u2019s all remember that this is a podcast that\u2019s being recorded for human beings.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah, alright&#8211; Well OK! Pierre Pinoncelli is a performance artist, conceptual artist\u2026&nbsp; And the thing he\u2019s most famous for is\u2026 You\u2019ve all heard of the guy going up and punching a Monet but Pierre Pinoncelli did it first and for art reasons. And he took a hammer to Duchamp\u2019s \u201cFountain\u201d so- which is the urinal speaking of piss-related things. He did a lot of other stuff but y\u2019know, the conceptual destruction of art pieces for art\u2019s sake is his deal.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I just googled the name, he has a really really short wikipedia&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 but like so short that it\u2019s actually intriguing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah no I mean, in terms of like\u2026 I don\u2019t know, like, clout in the art world? I\u2019m not really sure. I don\u2019t hear about him a lot, but\u2026 He\u2019s out there! And he did try and bust up a Duchamp so that\u2019s his game.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, well, now that we\u2019ve talked about the history of your items was there anything else that you wanted to discuss before we begin the challenge?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;You got pants?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Do I\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;These ones don\u2019t fit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, I\u2019m wearing pants. OH! Yes.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;While you were all talking, by the way? Mikey changed out of his oversized \u2018dad\u2019 button down and into the, although better fitting, still quite large pug t-shirt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>We\u2019ve got swim trunks. They come in two colors, both of them are horrible but we do have something in your size Mikey. And he hands you, just like\u2026 it\u2019s\u2026 it\u2019s a little too neon to be Pepto Bismol pink? But it\u2019s just like that, but turned up a little bit. And then yellow.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What is it? Like a pair of swim trunks?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Swim trunks. And yeah they\u2019re pink and yellow.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Mikey starts unbuttoning his pants.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhhh alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, oh. This is\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;He\u2019s taking them off.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I do not have a safe&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Stickey\u2019s After Dark!<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Pants are down.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Now we know why it\u2019s called Uncle Stickey\u2019s. Alright\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh lord.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;And I just, for the kids at home, I really feel it\u2019s not in Mikey\u2019s character to wear underwear but I could be wrong about that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s totally not.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeaaah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh noooo.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey doesn\u2019t even know that underwear are a thing that exists.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alright, Petua looks in the other direction.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, the swim trunks are on.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, mmmm\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Sir, I apologize.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;We do have a bathroom. I just\u2026 wow.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t like these. He\u2019s kind of tugging at his crotch weirdly.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh my god\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;He starts taking them off.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[chortling]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god\u2026 Ahkay\u2026 Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Do you have a bigger size?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Stammering]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;The pants are back on now.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No thanks.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Hurriedly] OK, I turn to Uncle Stickey. Please, for the love of God let\u2019s start before anything else happens\u2026 like that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mmm. Yes, that\u2019s probably for the best. And he leads you to a door that goes down\u2026 You notice, it\u2019s a stairwell going down, underground. It looks kind of dark down there. Can\u2019t really see what\u2019s down there but he gestures for you to walk ahead of him, down the staircase.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;This is not suspicious\u2026 or weird. Not at all.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No I wouldn\u2019t say it\u2019s suspicious or weird at all! Me and Bernice we run a\u2026 a tight ship here, don\u2019t we?&#8230; Yeah, alright Uncle Stickey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh is Bernice following behind us I\u2019m assuming?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah yeah, part of the challenge. Don\u2019t worry about it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah it\u2019s\u2026 great.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You go into this, and you actually had to go down quite a bit of ways. Welcome to the challenge course everybody! You\u2019ll see we have here our first challenge, which should be The Great Wall of Friendship! And you see a 25 foot high wooden wall. And he says Well, so as with most walls your challenge here is to get up and over that wall but uh, there\u2019s a little twist! My darling, darling niece, Bernice, will be standing at the top of the wall. And she will try to punch you in the mouth if you come to the top of the wall\u2026. So, figure that out.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, h- could you run that down, I\u2019m so sorry, one more time for me?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;There\u2019s a wall. There\u2019s a Bernice on top of the wall. She will punch you if you get on top of the wall, you need to get over the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 Right. And just to make sure, I mean, what are the, uh, rules here? Are we functioning as normal law-abiding citizens? I mean, I don\u2019t really want to hurt your niece but like, how tough&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You can try, jeez, oh my god. Look, take your swings, I\u2019ll be fine\u2026 Uh, I assure you, Bernice is uh, quite, quite weathered. She can handle whatever you throw at her.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[Resignedly] Alright. I mean, I\u2019m down for that. Alright\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Is it at all possible to walk around the wall?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Well, that\u2026 It is&nbsp;<i>possible<\/i>, you don\u2019t&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I think he said we have to go over it. I don\u2019t think that counts.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;[sighs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You have to go over it! It\u2019s a rule of the challenge.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;[blows a raspberry]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. Well\u2026 I guess, I guess we\u2019re gonna go up the wall then. Um, hold on one second, sorry\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Bernice is now seated at the top of the wall, and she is just kinda looking down at all of you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Rustling Papers] Does anybody have a Grappling Hook? And by that I mean, does anybody have an Adventurer\u2019s Kit which would have a Grappling Hook in it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhhh\u2026..<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What kind of wall, is this just like a wood wall, with no hand-holds or anything\u2026?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No handles, no.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;And approximately how tall is it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Twenty feet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Do we have to ALL get over it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes it\u2019s teamwork! You ALL have to get over the wall!<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I have rope, but not a grappling hook.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, well that\u2019s something at least. Um\u2026 Okay. Hold on one second. I mean, does anybody have any ideas?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I could carry you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Well that was nice of you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well\u2026 That\u2019s a good idea Mikey, but could you climb up the wall?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah. Maybe not like this. Or, not like this and carry you at the same time.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Right. Well, Mikey, I mean you don\u2019t have to carry us if you could get over the wall, uh, you could take the rope with you and hang it over the wall. Then the rest of us could come up.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 Oh, ok! I can do that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright!<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I also have, I just googled this because I didn\u2019t know what it meant previously, I have a piton as well, I got a piton.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Piton?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Pitons. They\u2019re like, climbing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I think Mikey is the man of the hour. Let\u2019s hear what he\u2019s gonna do!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, so you pass Mikey the rope.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mm-hmm?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;And then\u2026 Something happens which is deeply disturbing. From a mechanical aspect, this is Mikey\u2019s first use of the Wild Shape ability to turn into a gorilla.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ahhh! I love it, love the concept!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;But, that\u2019s not really what it looks like as far as this world goes? This is more like some Altered States evolutionary regression kind of stuff?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[Less Appreciably] Oh\u2026 Ohhh Jesus.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;So\u2026 Just some sort of fucked-up Gorilla-esque human ancestor is what you\u2019re seeing? But wearing Mikey\u2019s pug t-shirt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Do the swim trunks rip off, Incredible Hulk style?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Well he\u2019s not wearing the swim trunks anymore.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh right right, he\u2019s wearing the&#8211; Ahhh&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;They bunched and, it was the netting. It just wasn\u2019t\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, that\u2019s not good. Alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;But anyway that gives me a Climb speed of 30 feet a round? So I feel that\u2019s enough to get over this pretty easily.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok! Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Holy shit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;That is\u2026 fucking amazing. I just [clears throat] On an unrelated note, this is just what Mikey\u2019s doing. I just wanted to state on the podcast: I LOVE MY WIFE. Um, anyway!<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Chuckling]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey, you, in this horrifying gorilla-human\u2026 Uh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m sort of imagining it to be like an orangutan but without the hair?<\/p>\n<p>[Various Noises of Horror and Disgust]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy<\/b>: Like something distinctly inhuman and apelike? But doesn\u2019t cleanly correspond to any ape you\u2019ve ever seen in your life.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>So kind of like if you look at those charts of which prehistoric creatures got left behind by the path of evolution and don\u2019t exist anymore? Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[shudders]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, Ok, there\u2019s some fucking missing link shit going on here.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda<\/b>: Mm-hmmm!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And so this, this thing jumps up. Climbs up the wall and Bernice is a little-bit taken aback. But uh, as you climb up she does take a swing at Gorilla\u2026 fucking Gorilla-Mikey. Uh, let\u2019s see, that one\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;You know what\u2019s funny is\u2026 Turning into a gorilla, or an ape rather because there\u2019s no specific gorilla, actually&nbsp;<i>reduces<\/i>&nbsp;how many hit points I have.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hmm! What does it make your&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Like it doesn\u2019t actual&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s your AC?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, it\u2019s actually the same. Well, it\u2019s 12.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Twelve? Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s AC is twelve and so is the ape\u2019s, so\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. So, she tries, she takes a swing and she misses. Ah, aw drats! Ah beans.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I cast a spell at Bernice, as much as we love Bernice, I feel like it\u2019s the only way we can get her off that wall so Mikey can&#8230; Is Mikey on top of the wall now?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, Mikey\u2019s on top of the wall, Mikey has the rope.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. Well I think, I mean, I guess\u2026 [More Hesitantly] Should we yell over at Mikey to let down the rope?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh I imagined he was holding one end of it and y\u2019all were holding the other.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Ahhhh, ok. Alright, um\u2026. Well shit! I guess we\u2019ve got a way up now! I go over to the rope and start climbing the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Hammer in hand.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, uh, make me an Athletics check.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 mmm that\u2019s not bad. Yeah athletics, definitely not\u2026 I got a 14 on my check.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Fourteen? Ok, Ok, great, fantastic. You are able to make it up the wall. You are, you\u2019re at the top and Bernice kinda doesn\u2019t know which one of you to go at but she kind of kicks at Petua\u2026 Oooh, I know that hits. Yeah, she just connects boot to face on Petua, and I need you to make me a Dexterity saving throw.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mkay\u2026 [Rolls Dice, Cries Out] It\u2019s a nat. 20!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK! You\u2019re able to hold onto that rope and you\u2019re able to make it up to the top. By the way, you did take two damage, just, yeah\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Even though it was a- oh, guess it did it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You did save on the Dex throw to not fall off the wall, so\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Right, right right, do I get to attack back or no?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You can if you want.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, Jesus, yeah, I\u2019m definitely about to do that shit. I wipe my probably bruised and bleeding nose, if she kicked me in the face, and I look at my hammer and I say \u201cUh, I guess this is worth a shot\u201d and I swing it at her knees.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chortles]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god\u2026. Jesus<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Roll to hit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean not, not like hard. Just enough in the knees. [Rolls Dice] With a hammer.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Just enough to get a message across.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, hold on sorry, that was a\u2026 What do I add to an attack roll? Just nothing, just to see if it hit right? Sorry. It\u2019s been a while.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhmmm, yeah for you, for a physical attack- Well, the hammer is, I think it has a +1 or something to it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, it\u2019s a simple-&#8230; yeah for Warlock spellcasting but not for this. I got a 17 anyways, so.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, ok. So you manage to hit Bernice right in the fucking knees. And she is, she takes the hit, how much damage does that do?<br><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It does 1 d6+2? Um, but, oh god I feel so bad. That\u2019s 7 damage.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah don\u2019t worry about it, Bernice is ok. She\u2019s on one knee, yeah, Mikey has the rope. Petua is safely at the top of the tower. Bernice, she kinda seems like she\u2026 Petua and Mikey might be lost causes. She\u2019s looking at the remainder of the party. Gonna see if she can try to prevent one of y\u2019all from getting up.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;All right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, go for it Elektra.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ll go. I wanna try to put her to sleep.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh fuck.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laugh] All Right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;So I\u2019m gonna y\u2019know, direct the speaker in her direction and do some soft soft synths&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Some chillwave.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 to put this large woman to sleep.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. I assume there\u2019s like a save I have to do now right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhm, let me see\u2026 [murmurs] \u2026 No.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, you can\u2019t just put people to sleep without<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, hold on. OK: Spell sends creatures into a magical slumber, roll 5 d8. The total is how many Hit Points of creatures this spell could effect. Creatures within range are affected in ascending order of their current hit points. Starting with the creature that has the lowest current hit points, each creature affected by the spell falls unconscious until the spell ends. Sleeper takes damage when someone uses an action to shake or slap the sleeper awake.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;So really it has to do if I match her hit points.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes, roll those die for me.<\/p>\n<p>[Lullaby-like Ambient Synths are punched in]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m feeling sleepy already. Um\u2026 Yeah, roll those die.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[croons the \u2018Lullaby &amp; Good Night\u2019 melody]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s that, and now\u2026 [Rolls Dice] That\u2019s 8\u2026 13\u2026 15\u2026 23\u2026 28.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Twenty-Eight? She uh, kinda blinks a little bit. But then she just kind of shakes her head, and then she Huh. Got some sick tunes kid. Come on, get it. She\u2019s on her feet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Um, as my bonus?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mm-hmm?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I will\u2026 cast Bardic Inspiration on\u2026 Kevin hasn\u2019t gone up yet, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Nah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I will use that on you then.<\/p>\n<p>[Synth Horn Fanfare]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It gives you a Bardic Inspiration die, a d6, which within the next 10 minutes the creature can roll the die and add the number rolled to one Ability Check, Attack Roll or Saving Throw.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Creature can wait until after it rolls the d20 before deciding to use the Bardic Inspiration die, but MUST decide before the DM decides whether the roll succeeds or fails. Once it\u2019s rolled it\u2019s lost.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Cool, cool. Alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;And then I\u2019m gonna try to scale the wall with\u2026 Can I do that at the same time with movement? OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, sure! Go ahead, go ahead, roll me an athletic check.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[rolls dice and sputters] That\u2019s, that\u2019s a, that is a 1.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s a one? OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;That is a one.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, just flashbacks of gym class.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Guh.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Elektra just gets on the rope and\u2026 I don\u2019t know. Maybe it\u2019s just sweaty palms \u2018cause Bernice is just&nbsp;<i>staring&nbsp;<\/i>Elektra down just as soon as she gets on the rope? And you\u2019re just not able to get up. The rope. At all! And uh, Kevin!<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;What are you gonna try?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Well, as a rogue\u2026 I don\u2019t, I feel like I don\u2019t have too many options in this situation. I\u2019m gonna try to point and go \u201cHey look at that!\u201d and then try to sneak up the rope really quick.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs] Are you gonna like throw something, or\u2026 ?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Uhhh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You\u2019re gonna try to distract uh, Bernice\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah I&#8217;m just gonna be like &#8216;hey, hey look over there!&#8217;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Hey! Uhm\u2026 sorry. I didn&#8217;t wanna interrupt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;No please do.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;But uh Kevin, and everyone\u2026 Our goal is to get over the wall right?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>And we have to be over the wall. What if\u2026 I&#8217;m just throwing this out here, cause it&#8217;s obviously just gonna be more and more difficult when there are more of us on the wall and Bernice keeps trying to kick us down. What if Mikey grabbed her and went down the wall, and like, crawled down it; because he&#8217;s still a gorilla right? And then I hold the rope?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>That&#8217;s fun. I like that.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean if it&#8217;s difficult if we don&#8217;t have any spells to cast or something but also if Kevin if you wanted to try something I&#8217;m also down for that. I don&#8217;t wanna\u2026<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I don&#8217;t have any spells, so\u2026<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright\u2026 yeah\u2026 I feel like that&#8217;s a thing that can happen right? I think that Mikey can successfully rappel down the wall holding somebody or at least&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey is shaking, or, he&#8217;s uh nodding vigorously.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, Mikey? D&#8217;you wanna do that?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Nodding more vigorously.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright! I kinda just step aside and hold the rope! And I look over at Bernice and I say Hey, shouldn&#8217;t have kicked me in the face!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I make a grapple attempt then.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Roll me that strength check, I\u2019m contesting it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I got a 19. Or sorry, a 20.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You got a 20, ok. You&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Not like a natural 20 just 17+3.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You are able to successfully grapple Bernice. She\u2019s just kind of struggling against you though.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>OK as part of, so\u2026 When I shapeshifted I adopt a stat line of the animal in question, including its actions. So being an ape means I automatically get multi-attack? Because I get two fists.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chortles] Right\u2026 !<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;So the grapple counts as one of those attacks, I\u2019m just going to use the other attack to just straight up, swing on her. Like if you could imagine this ape, this fucked-up ape creature having her in a headlock, just like, yeah. That\u2019s what I\u2019m doing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s a little heated from that kicking Petua in the face\u2026. Uh, do I\u2026 ? I just want to look\u2026 Do you know the grappling rules that well? I\u2019ve got them in front of me here. I just want to know if there\u2019s if having\u2026 If attacking a grappled creature, there\u2019s any penalty to their AC or anything?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Um, I\u2019ll give you advantage.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s just like, I\u2019m probably going to do this a lot, so I just want to know how this actually works? I have played many grapple-fighters in my life, because I am that person.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Shocking! Shocking! I would\u2019ve never guessed.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Actually I\u2019ve only played two. But both of them were really successful\u2026 OK I got a 15.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Fifteen? Ok, you connect with that swing. Um?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I got an 8.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Her nose is very bloody. Sorry, what was\u2026 go ahead Amanda?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah no, I was just wondering if Mikey was planning on jumping off down the wall now that he\u2019s got Bernice held back. Because I\u2019m just wondering if having somebody physically restraining Bernice is like, possible? Since that seems to be the obstacle? That was what I was wondering about. But if that\u2019s not a thing&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh I just figured that would be probably a two-turn kind of operation.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhhh.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, sure. She\u2019s restrained but now she\u2019s going to attack with Disadvantage. She rolled a\u2026 13!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;So just against my AC?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Normally that\u2019d be a hit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019d be\u2026 OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I don\u2019t know what, again I don\u2019t know what the grappling rules are but we\u2019ll just call it a hit for now I guess.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, yeah. I gave her Disadvantage based on the grappling.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok yeah, that\u2019s enough for me.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And ok, so she manages to punch Mikey in the face for 3 damage.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And, uh, yeah! Again once\u2026 now the field\u2019s open. Anyone who wants to just try something can go for it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m just gonna try to climb the darn rope.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. Yeah, make me an Athletics check.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Whuh that is a\u2026 That is a 6.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I like that this is a party of people that just didn\u2019t go to or failed gym class.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s very true.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;The best part is I said that referring to the characters, but that\u2019s probably true of the players as well.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;They don\u2019t make, they didn\u2019t make us try to climb ropes. I was good at&#8211; Yeah, that never happened.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Wow\u2026 what!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Well I just meant that, but did you fail gym class?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;No!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh well, you\u2019re a square then.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I did\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I wouldn\u2019t have been able to do the rope thing, but they never had us do it! So I passed.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[sotto voce] There we go.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;We\u2019re all very successful and that\u2019s why we\u2019re making a Role-Playing podcast for the internet. That\u2019s very clear.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 Mhmm<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So\u2026 Robyn what was that Athletics check again?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;It was a six.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It was a six? Ok. So once again, yeah, Kevin just kind of flails\u2026 Just trying to get up that rope, is not able to do it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Lemme give it a try.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Athletics check\u2026 [rolls dice] Goddamnit! That\u2019s a 5.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;HA!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Woooow\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chuckling] Just everybody\u2026 I- I dunno guys, it might be time to start thinking about a change in strategy.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah, climbing up that rope, huh? Uh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Petua, is there something you wanna try?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, um, alright. The only thing that I could think of to do besides to get everybody up and over the wall is to topple the wall, and I feel like that won\u2019t work, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m not gonna tell you if that will work.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I feel like it\u2019ll work if we\u2019re given enough time.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. But how solid is this wall?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s uh, it does not\u2026 Plywood and 2x4s and it\u2019s a lot heavier on the plywood side than the 2x4s.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. I think I would like to try and, I guess, grab the rope? And, well, hmm. What\u2019s the best side to do this on? \u2018Cause Mikey\u2019s still fighting Bernice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Correct.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright I think I\u2019m gonna let Mikey finish fighting Bernice and see how that pans out before I do anything.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, Mikey, what\u2019re you gonna do?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I just wanna like\u2026 I guess this would fall under the \u2018shove\u2019 action? But I just wanna, like, throw the top of the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Giggles] Good shit. Good shit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Okay.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Like on the far side, not where Electra and Kevin are?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2018cause I just think that\u2019s another opposed strength test\u2026 Well it says I can either\u2026 Like drag her off the wall, because I\u2019ve got her grappled? Orrr just shove.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I think it would be good if you were on the other side of the wall with her, actually. So that might be a thing worth doing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK then I don\u2019t have to roll for that I just can move her&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Okay.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>\u2026 and drag her, but I can only move at half my speed.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2018Drag ha\u2019.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;But I kind of just, \u2018backpack\u2019 her and fall from the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. I love this.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Holy shit. OK\u2026 Now hold on. You just said you fall off of the 20 foot wall?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey did get UP the wall without a 20 foot rope!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 ?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>So like, I feel like going down is just as easy.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m gonna make sure she\u2019s on the bottom when we land, but\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[gleefully] Yeaaaaaah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs] So you just, you just like&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey is not especially worried about hurting himself in this scenario.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I didn\u2019t think so\u2026 ! Um, so Mikey took 3 points of damage from that fall. And Bernice, she seemed to take that fall a lot harder, obviously. But she is just flat-out, on the ground, groaning. I\u2019m gonna say that you lost grapple control of her when you landed.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, Electra and Kevin?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright.<\/p>\n<p>[Synth Music Cues Up, Specifically an 8-Bit rendition of a Vangelis standard]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Then yeah I guess, gotta just go.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m holding the rope.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Just do it again. You\u2019ve got fucking, Chariots of Fire music playing while you\u2019re rolling this dice roll. Let\u2019s do it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I love\u2026 was that Vangelis, I think?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;That was.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[Rolls Dice, then in disbelief] It\u2019s\u2026 and 11.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s an eleven! Oh my god! She stuggled, but Elektra makes it to the top of the wall! It is\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Hums the \u201cChariots of Fire\u201d theme]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, it\u2019s a little embarrassing how much you struggle? Especially with the other ones, but hey! You\u2019re the bard, whatever! Kevin!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m not used to climbing stuff with my gear on, y\u2019know?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Um, how long does Bardic Inspiration last again?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Um\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s kinda just \u2018till you use it, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh I thought there was a time limit on there. Alright, cool.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You lose it eventually, but like\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026. OK cool.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Like, when you sleep or something, I think\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Cool so I\u2019m also gonna try to just climb that rope again.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Eh\u2026. Alright, got a 14.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Fourteen, OK!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Nice!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Kevin is able to make it up the wall and all three of you are, you\u2019re on top of the wall\u2026 I gotta tell you, with Bernice incapacitated on the other side of the wall I think the uh, the descent is going to be a lot less exciting. I\u2019m just going to\u2026 You all three make it down from the wall. Congratulations. Uh, good job. Streamers, come out of the base of the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Where was Uncle Stickey this whole time?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uncle Stickey was watching.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;So he&#8217;s just chill with us beating up his niece<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Beating up his niece, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah. Like he said, Bernice can take it. Bernice is gonna be fine, don&#8217;t worry. So, so&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>[Soft synths creep in]<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I think we proved Bernice can&#8217;t take Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>This is true.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean\u2026 yeah, but she&#8217;s alive! Bernice kinda gets up and dusts herself off. There&#8217;s lots of streamers and confetti. Good job! You&#8217;ve passed the first challenge! This is but one of three, but you&#8217;re doing great so far. Congratulations, Mikey! Uh, do we still call you Mikey?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey nods.<\/p>\n<p>[Skagos \u2013 Blossoms Will Sprout From The Carcass fades in]<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>[Outro \u2013 Music Break<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>(untranscribed lyrics)<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the fury of the storm<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the endless falling rain<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the growing of the dark<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the thrive of decay<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the voice of woe<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the call of the moon<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the cold retribution<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>The dark rider known as death]<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>Lilith: Hey everyone, Lilith here with a quick reminder. Just a couple things, couple programming notes. 1: We\u2019re on iTunes now so you can subscribe to us, review us, that really helps us out quite a bit. Also we have a Patreon now! If you go to patreon.com\/ghostpuncher and you can kick in a little bit if you\u2019ve been enjoying the show, if you want to help support it that\u2019d be very, very great. As of right now I\u2019m running the whole show out of my own pocket, hosting fees, recording equipment, everything like that. Which I\u2019ve always been happy to do because I love this show. But if you want to help out, make things a little bit easier for me, I\u2019m not exactly rolling in cast. Once again that\u2019s patreon.com\/ghostpuncher. Thanks!<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-34186fe elementor-hidden-desktop elementor-hidden-tablet elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"34186fe\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span class=\"s1\">(Transcription by Micha Cavaseno, contact for transcription work&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/transcripts-4-uncle-stickeys-house-of-humours-vol-i\/mcavaseno@gmail.com\">here<\/a>)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/5783490\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/forward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/1b1b1b\/\" width=\"100%\" height=\"90\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><b>[Music Fades In:&nbsp; Skagos \u2013 Blossoms Will Sprout From the Carcass]<\/b><b><br><\/b><b><br><\/b><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Previously, on Ghostpuncher Corps. Torment! Ear-splitting, mind-shattering torment.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK well Mikey\u2019s gonna push that button unless somebody stops him.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 Coulda called that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Like I\u2019m walking towards the button right now.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>I\u2019m fine with this.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t\u2026 know that\u2026 we should touch that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s like a crushing wave of sound. Penetrating your skull-<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ghosts were punched!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Her eyes just kind of roll over and she closes them and listens for a second and then she summons this very very intense wave of Eldritch energy.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ve got my bat out, and I\u2019m just&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mystery abound!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So a woman in a fucking beautiful white turtleneck walks out, yeah I knew that\u2019d be all Petua\u2019s jam.<\/p>\n<p>My name is Anya St. John, I\u2019m with the Lazarus foundation?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith :&nbsp;<\/b>So light your torches, ready your blades, and keep an eye out for peril. As we join the adventures of the Ghostpuncher Corps.<\/p>\n<p><b>[Musical interlude]<\/b><b><br><\/b><b><br><\/b><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>I slump down to the nearest sittable surface, looking kind of defeated\u2026. Well?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m guessing this is some kind of opposition company. Which, given context is a very strange formatting but\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah\u2026 No, no shit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Seems how this is.<br><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[sighs] Well?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>The uh, that radio crackles once more and you hear Luci\u2019s voice on the other end\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUh\u2026 Hey guys, how\u2019s it going?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[sighs]&#8230;. Great.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hm?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh now she asks&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, the trucknuts aren\u2019t a problem anymore if that\u2019s\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cThat\u2019s good!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;However, Lazarus-<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cLa-Lazarus! Oh, goddamnit. OK. Uhm\u2026 Ok, so. Hm. See that\u2019s, I was tr-, honestly? OK. Hmmm. I guess I should let you in on a couple things. Kind of seems like you guys are pretty confused at this point. Um&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m very confused.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah [indecipherable]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;To say the least.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>\u201cMikey, that just seems kinda like a state of being for you and I- By the way, Hi Mikey. I\u2019m Luci.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hi. I\u2019m Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cHi Mikey. Um\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Hi.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hi, uhhhh\u2026.<\/p>\n<p>[slight tittering]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hi.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cOK, Ok, alright. Uh, so this is kind of why I- why I brought you in all uh\u2026. I know it&#8217;s quite mysterious, maybe a little disorienting. You didn\u2019t really know what was going on, but I mean, I had-&#8230;. I\u2019ve had a number of teams out hunting for the same things that y\u2019all have been hunting for. The uh, kinds of things. Aaaand, I\u2019ve been having some problems with, um, I guess \u2018Data Security\u2019 is what we\u2019d call it here. These goddamn motherfucking Lazarus pricks keep\u2026 doing exactly what I imagine they just did. They kinda did the whole contagion routine? Showed up, pew pew pew, and take the guy away, is that right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah they took that bubblegum guy away, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cYes\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yes, they\u2026 yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cOK. Well\u2026 Hm. I\u2019d say \u2018don\u2019t let them do that in the future\u2019, but I know that\u2019s kind of a big ask considering there\u2019s four of you and it\u2019s like, they\u2019re a multinational corporation. Uh, hmm, OK. I\u2019ll get back to you on what I want you to do the next time Lazarus shows up? But um-\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[urgently] Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;They\u2019re a multinational corporation. We\u2019re supposed to not let them- I-it seems like you two, pardon me, but it seems like you are, you have the same goal if our job-<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cOh Absolutely Not!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>So, what are they doing that we wouldn\u2019t have done.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cHmm! Hmm. Hmm\u2026 I don\u2019t know exactly what they\u2019re doing? But uh, no multinational corporations have&nbsp;<i>Very<\/i>&nbsp;different interests and I uh, really don\u2019t fucking trust them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>I, alright, I mean\u2026 So you don\u2019t know what it is that they\u2019re doing but you don\u2019t trust them, but they\u2019re killing the same things as you, is that about&#8230;?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cThat\u2026 That thing\u2019s not dead.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cBut now that everything\u2019s kind of settled down with Lazarus, or uh with- with the blob, I\u2019m just gonna let y\u2019all mark one in the win column, for this? Nothing you can do about Lazarus, at least, nothing we can do right now. Um, soooo\u2026 Why don\u2019t y\u2019all, it\u2019s the middle of the night! Have a nice little look around the uh, the shop that you\u2019re in and I dunno, if you can steal something! I dunno. Anyway, peace!\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>And then the radio crackles and turns off.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[whispered] Lazarus\u2026 who\u2019s up top?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Up top? You mean the CEO of Lazarus?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 How did they get this information? How did they get ANY of this information? About anything that they intercept.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda<\/b>: Well, I would really like to know that too, because if they\u2019ve harnessed whatever it is that\u2019s out there\u2026 I don\u2019t know. And I think that Petua sticks the business card deep into her pocket and just kind of goes quiet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You look through Jackie&#8217;s Customs and you found a number of modifications for the winnebago that Kevin, you work through the night to attach to the winnebago. Does anyone wanna give me a summary, where did y\u2019all land on what those modifications were gonna be?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Alright. So, well, we chose updating our winnebago to go with Improved Tires which is a +2 to Vehicle Handling checks, a bagel-maker called the Winne-Bagel which produces 4 Bagels at the beginning of each day, each Bagel can be used each day to recover 1 d4 HP. The Fuzzy Dice, which is also a style play but it does 2 per day add 1 d6 per handling check. And then we\u2019re also going with, because Elektra is very into it, the Exterior Mounted Subwoofer which allows bards to cast from within the winnebago at a x2 range. So we\u2019re getting onto our Mad Max shit, basically.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Awesome.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 it\u2019s literally her jam.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s my jam.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Now, while you were going around Jackie\u2019s Customs, Kevin you did spot a corporate purchasing credit card just kinda sitting out on the desk.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 Oh!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Did you do anything about that?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah. Yeah I [stammers] I put it in my pocket.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hell yeah you did, perfect. You\u2019ve got that credit card.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Nice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You can write that down\u2026 That may come up in the future! Um, so\u2026 You\u2019re all set up. You all pile into the Winnebago with all of it\u2019s new fancy modifications and you peel away from Jackie\u2019s Customs; well in time to get away before they come back and realize that a bunch of their shit has been stolen and there was also apparently some weird play-doh fight in the garage last night. Let\u2019s see! Who takes the wheel? I feel like Mikey keeps doing that but uh\u2026 yeah I don\u2019t know!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>There is the Jesus option.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Um! [raps on wood] Jesus is actually, Jesus only gets included in the DLC so I\u2019m actually gonna need like, 4.99 from y\u2019all, if you want Jesus to take the wheel.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Gotcha.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god&#8230;. Did she tell us to come back? Did we like, were we ordered to report back or what?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>No, no, she actually said\u2026 I was actually asking about who took the wheel because, once you got in the car, once you started driving, the radio actually crackled on to life and she just kind of \u201cOh hey, just, real quick. I don\u2019t have all the details for your next job quite nailed down yet, but just start heading to Arizona\u2026 K?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean it\u2019s pretty big, is there a part of it you wanted us to aim for?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cWell I mean you\u2019re in Texas so-\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s an Arizona<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u201cStart\u2026 start driving left.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Radio Crackle]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;All right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Did you say \u2018What IS Arizona\u2019 or \u2018What\u2019s IN Arizona\u2019?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s Arizona.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s a kind of arid zone.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;That makes sense.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 Holy shit. You just blew Elektra\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs] Wordplay! Yeah, I think whoever\u2019s least tired should take the wheel, we\u2019ve all just had a big day. If anyone wants to drive, I don\u2019t know, Mikey it seems your purview but if you want a break we can definitely chill out on that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s ok to drive.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright Mikey. Then I guess Mikey\u2019s driving to Arizona.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. So, you\u2019re driving to Arizona-<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What does the Arizona look like? I\u2019m imagining like a really big lizard.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, y\u2019know, that\u2019s not totally inaccurate.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Well\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well\u2026 it\u2019s rectangular. And, I mean, on the map it\u2019s usually kind of red, but I\u2019m not really sure. Actually I haven\u2019t ever been to Arizona so, I just kind of know what I\u2019ve seen from y\u2019know, images and stuff. I think you\u2019ll-<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey is imagining a giant, fearsome red cube. This is the idea you\u2019ve put into his head.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[Snickers] Good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s more trapezoidal.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Is it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s sort of a general amorphous polygon. Yeah\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 Ok, well, anyway-<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey doesn\u2019t know what the words \u2018amorphous polygon\u2019 mean but they scared him.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I think that\u2019s kind of a summary of the relationship between Mikey and Petua so far is that I just keep saying shit, and the fantasy just starts to unfold. All these terrifying words, alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So you\u2019re driving down the highway, and I need uh, all around the party I need Constitution saving throws.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted groans and dice rolls]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[Nervous Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Nice, Nice. That is a\u2026 19.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;That would be a 5.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, 15.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;And a 16.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Sixteen, ok. Not to get too crass, or anything like that, but Mikey and Petua, you need to pee.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Um\u2026<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Snickers]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And Mikey you spot on the side of the road, at the next exit, a big colorful sign for a \u201cUncle Stickey\u2019s House of Humors\u201d<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, as soon as Mikey realized he had to pee he slammed on the breaks.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, just wait\u2026 Stopped in the middle of the highway!?!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;[nonchalantly] Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;From the perspective of everybody else, suddenly Mikey slammed on the breaks. Everything shifted, stuff fell over, the winnebago screeched to a halt. He opened the door and Mikey walked off the road, squatted for a minute, and then came back. And kept driving.<\/p>\n<p>[Continued Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chuckling] Okay!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Tha-that tracks.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeaaaah\u2026 You know what that does\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, that does track\u2026 I mean\u2026 I won\u2019t be doing that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhm, when you say \u2018House of Humours\u2019, is that spelled with a \u2018u\u2019?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It IS spelled with a \u2018u\u2019!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;So like, \u2018the four humors\u2019 as in.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean-<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No, that\u2019s just how you spell humour.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh well there\u2019s a- Ok. Wait is there a\u2026 Is both of them spelled that way?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;They are here.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Nah, I think there is \u2018h-u-m-o-u-r\u2019 right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, as The Four Humors.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mhmm.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Which is also I believe just the\u2026 it\u2019s&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;The British way of spelling it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Right, right, it\u2019s one of those.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No it\u2019s the&nbsp;<i>correct<\/i>&nbsp;way to spell it.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;[Re-Affects the Twang] But we\u2019re in Arizona.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 What?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanada:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, are we? I don\u2019t think we\u2019re there yet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No, no, you\u2019re still- You\u2019re actually in New Mexico at this point.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhh.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You\u2019re, you\u2019re poppin\u2019 down&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Where\u2019s the Old Mexico?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s down south.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh. That makes sense.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>So, I guess Mikey didn\u2019t need to pull over to pee but uh, Mikey does take notice of this sign for Uncle Stickey\u2019s&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s on the sign?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Its\u2026 lot of bright colors?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oooh!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And it says \u201cUncle Stickey\u2019s House of Humours\u201d and<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey can\u2019t read. Like, what\u2019s on the sign, are there pictures?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;There\u2019s smiley faces\u2026 And a seal with a little hat!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Cool.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh that\u2019s very good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, Mikey excitedly points at the sign to everybody and asks y\u2019all what it says.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah, well, I guess it\u2019s Uncle Stickey\u2019s House of Humours, but I wonder if they have a bathroom, because I really have to stop.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I just stopped back there! Why didn\u2019t you go?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, well, I mean. I probably could have but it\u2019s not really my jam. There\u2019s not enough, y\u2019know, not enough vegetation around here to squat in for my personal needs. So I think the House of Humors is probably the best bet. Is there any way you could pull over Mikey?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So you screech to a hall in the parking lot of Uncle&#8211; And I want to mention It\u2019s spelled Stickey: \u2018S-T-I-C-K-E-Y\u2019&#8230;? Like the name not the adjective.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, it\u2019s a surname\u2026 His Christian name.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah! Yeah it\u2026 Exactly. And it is a gas station\/convenience store on one end and then there is just this, it\u2019s built into the same building, but it\u2019s this kind of nondescript- well\u2026. I say nondescript but it is not especially stylized, but it\u2019s very brightly colored in like, red and green and blue and all of those other colors too. It\u2019s just fuckin\u2026 it\u2019s just like, screaming with pigment at you. Uh, yeah!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Is that the Arizona?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;No, that is not the Arizona. If that was where we were supposed to hang out I don\u2019t think I could handle it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, and there is a sign outside that building that says \u201cUncle Stickey\u2019s House of Humours\u201d.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And there\u2019s actually a restroom at the gas station side.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh good, ok. Petua runs in there for sure\u2026 I mean, if that\u2019s allowed. [Chuckle]<br><b><br><\/b><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh, absolutely. No first you need to get a key from the attendant&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean do I need to make a piss check or what?!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Can I just go?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No, you\u2019re good, you\u2019re \u2018gone\u2019.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Good!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t wanna get TOO bogged down in that, I just wanted to get y\u2019all off the highway.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Ok, good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;This isn\u2019t GURPS<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You\u2019re outside Uncle Stickey\u2019s. What do you do while Petua\u2019s in the restroom?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey just kind of gets out to wander around and have a look.<br><b><br><\/b><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Right on. Which, I mean, there\u2019s just kinda\u2026 I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever, well I actually know that you haven\u2019t been in, just like, kinda middle of nowhere New Mexico but there\u2019s just kind of dirt and bushes in most directions and um\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m from Alberta, I\u2019m familiar with dirt and bushes in every direction<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;They\u2019re very, they\u2019re a lot&nbsp;<i>drier<\/i>&nbsp;dirt and bushes. So\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Delicious!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh dear\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, wait, hold on really quickly? This conversation made me have to pee, so I\u2019ll be right back.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god, OK.<\/p>\n<p>[Musical Fanfare]<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s literally just us right now? Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, dope, what happened?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, everybody else decided that now would be a good time to pee.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god, this is bad! We can\u2019t have any more pee related plotlines in our podcast! Because otherwise, this could- This rich piss tapestry that Lilith\u2019s going to be weaving for us is going to be making us go to the bathroom.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh man.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I came back to rich piss tapestry, that\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>That\u2019s what your weaving for us!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Its, you\u2019re weaving a rich piss tapestry as I was saying\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I was saying if you\u2019re going to continue weaving this rich piss tapestry for us, A: I really am happy \u2018cause it means that I can keep saying that and it just rolls off the tongue but also there\u2019s just gonna be a lot of Pavlovian responses here?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ll just cut back in here? Uh, I talked about the characters having to pee and uh, about 2 minutes later we all needed to pee. Sooo uhm\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Soo\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I did some fun stuff with my alone time. You might wanna leave it in, I dunno.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OH&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t wanna, No. We don\u2019t wanna know.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m lying, I\u2019m lying.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;OK Good. Whatever piss related stuff you did that didn\u2019t involve going to the bathroom, we don\u2019t wanna know.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>You\u2019re right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I came into this conversation at a weird point.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean\u2026 There haven\u2019t been a lot of great points to jump into this one to be perfectly honest.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh boy. This has just been a weird conversation.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Ohhhh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright I\u2019m back.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh cool! Cool, cool, everyone\u2019s back now. Awesome. Soo\u2026 Elektra, Kevin and Mikey. The three of you are outside um, Uncle Stickey\u2019s. Yeah, whaddya do?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s the brightest, shiniest thing around?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhm\u2026 There\u2019s like, hm. You know what? Honestly, just because it\u2019s the thing that gets a lot of use, there\u2019s a doorbell? That\u2019s the brightest shiniest thing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ll go press the doorbell.<\/p>\n<p>[doorbell rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, great. Great. And you hear from inside, kind of a ding-dong and\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I press the doorbell again.<\/p>\n<p>[Doorbell rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh and there\u2019s another one!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Again.<\/p>\n<p>[doorbell rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, and there\u2019s another one and&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Again.<\/p>\n<p>[Doorbell Rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, a man comes out of the front door to Uncle Stickey\u2019s and he\u2019s: Oh. Y\u2019know, I kind of expected someone younger! To be perfectly honest.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I press the button again.<\/p>\n<p>[Doorbell Rings]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, yeah, that\u2019s the doorbell. Boy, what\u2019s your name?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hello Mikey, could you please stop doing that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Wonderful! Wonderful, OK. Um, was there something you needed?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 No.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, ok. Um, do you want to come inside and have a look around?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Sure!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK! And he opens the door, gesturing for all of you to come inside. I\u2019m gonna say, Petua, this is about when you-<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I was about to say, this is when Petua comes back around the corner, much relieved.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You come in, and you find it\u2026 Have you ever been in a gift shop before? It\u2019s one of those.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah\u2026 oh dear.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;The Same 18 shirts. Yeah, yeah. There\u2019s a teddy bear hugging an American flag. Snow globes\u2026 Lotta, lotta r&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey is fascinated with the snow globes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;There\u2019s one that has uh, the city of Albuquerque in it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Wait, the- Oh the- I forgot that were talking about snow globes, and so I was like \u2018Wait, what?\u2019<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Is there that same rack that sells the same brand of incense that every single gift shop ever\u2026 ? Because that\u2019s a thing, I don\u2019t know if you know that that\u2019s a thing\u2026 Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Absolutely\u2026 Yeah, yeah there is.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ve never seen that in gift shops.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh my god, every gift shop of every state park has the same brand of incense and it\u2019s like a thing. Anyways\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Why incense, that\u2019s so strange.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, I\u2019m not really sure. I mean, I think it might be a recent development but like, it\u2019s become this kind of running joke with my friends that we buy this one specific thing of incense whenever we go hiking, I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know with incense after you\u2019re sweaty and just have some snot-nosed kids you just took to like, a picnic. But I guess that\u2019s the time for it, anyways.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah! Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So you look around, you see all these things. You also see a woman who is, you\u2019re sure like\u2026 I don\u2019t know how good everybody is at estimating heights but you\u2019re like, ok, 7 feet tall at the very least. And she is built, and she is like&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 hhhi.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;&#8230;moving boxes and just kind of wearing like a sleeveless shirt. And the man who greeted you before who you notice he looks to be about in his 60s, he\u2019s\u2026 he looks old, but kind of intense in a really weird way? His eyes almost appear dead at first glance but when you look into them, you realize that this man can peer into your soul with a fleeting glance.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Do all of us just go up and look at him in the eyes and make that conclusion independently of each other or something\u2026? Right, right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No no, it just kind of occurs to you\u2026 Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I think that\u2019s a way, way bigger thought than Mikey is capable of having about another person.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So, Ok, specifically for Mikey. Mikey, you, he, it literally reminds him of the man with the snow shovel from the first Home Alone movie.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, what year did that come out? I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s within Mikey\u2019s range of stuff that he\u2019s experienced.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Shit!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Was it like, \u201893?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah, then it totally wouldn\u2019t have.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh goddamnit! OK&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>Syd: 1990.<\/p>\n<p>Cassidy: Mikey has been with the Sasquatches since 1990\u2026 yep.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Since 1990. Ok, ok. Damn, OK. Well\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;He was born in 1985 if anyone cares.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I was born in \u201891 babe, I gotta pull these references uh\u2026 What is the 5 years earlier version of the guy with the snow shovel from the first Home Alone movie?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s&#8211; it doesn\u2019t matter, let\u2019s move on.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Anywho, he stands behind the counter of the cash register and you see on the cash register a little like taped on, printed out sign that says \u201cASK ME ABOUT UNCLE STICKEY\u2019S SECRET TEAMWORK TREASURE CLUB CHALLENGE\u201d. Wow, I wrote that one and it took a grip to get it out. OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Wow.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Uncle Stickey\u2019s Secret Teamwork Treasure Club Challenge, there we go!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, Elektra\u2019s interested in that&#8230; tall woman? Just as a, as a\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Interested in what way?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Well like, about what age would you say is\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, she looks to be, about I would say like\u2026 30?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Physically attracted sort of way.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s still looking at snow globes.<\/p>\n<p>[Music starts to fade in]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Welcome, welcome! Welcome to my House of Humours.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh god\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;He\u2019s kind of waving his arms around.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;The guy who let us in?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah the guy who let you in.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah, a \u2018house of humours\u2019. Is that supposed to be about, are those things funny or what?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, I mean, some of those postcards\u2026 they got, pretty good little ribs on \u2018em.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 do they?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I- I assure you, they do!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Petua walks over and picks up a postcard. Just doesn\u2019t really break eye-contact.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s looking at the postcards now too.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh\u2026 Shit, now I have to come up with a postcard on the fly! Ah, fuck!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey picks up one with a er\u2026 Bikini-Lady on it, which says \u2018Wish you were her!\u2019.<br>[Assorted Snorts]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Thank y- Yes\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s this say? Is this funny?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Petua looks at it. Uh\u2026 I mean it depends on what your definition of funny is but I\u2019m gonna say no\u2026. I mean, it\u2019s just a postcard. Unfortunately.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh.<\/p>\n<p><b>Petua:<\/b>&nbsp;I kinda look back up at the guy. So, you sell\u2026 what here? I mean, is this place a destination around here, are there tourists around here? Or is this just a rest shop?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Well it\u2019s a, it&#8217;s a rest shop, a gift shop and well, it could be a whole lot more!<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;So, is this like a Eyes Wide Shut thing, or\u2026 Scientology&#8230; ?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, uh\u2026 we don\u2019t get HBO around here.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh God.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s just a little rest shop! We do have, we do have \u2018Uncle Stickey\u2019s Secret Teamwork Treasure Club Challenge\u2019! And of course, \u2018Uncle Stickey\u2019s Secret Teamwork Treasure Club\u2019, which you get entrance to as part of the challenge. The aforementioned challenge. Which I\u2019m not gonna say it yet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Right. Is there an acronym you can start adopting or something? Anyways\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Woah, what\u2019s an acronym? That sounds dangerous.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;They can be.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh. Yeah, sometimes they can be.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s a way of shortening your speech and I love the sound of my own voice so, fuck that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, well, it sounds like you- Wait a minute. I kinda look back at everybody, and then I look back at the guy. What is the nature of this club challenge?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah yes, my humble treasure club, I\u2019m so glad you asked.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, you kind of led me into it, so.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I-I feel that was very organic, actually! I feel there was&#8211;<br><b><br><\/b><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No, you mentioned it like, four times.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, well! Uhm. [clears throat] At the beginning all participants are allowed and encouraged to purchase items from Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Chest. In order to join Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Club, you must pass Uncle Sticky\u2019s Treasure Club Initiation Challenge, administered by yours truly and my darling niece Bernice. He points to the&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Are you Uncle Stickey?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I am Uncle Stickey, that is. Yes\u2026. Hello Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, that makes sense\u2026. I\u2019m Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;The tall lady, Bernice,.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hello.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes, yes. The tall lady&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Hello Bernice. Mikey waves at Bernice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;H-Hey, what\u2019s up.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Elektra also waves at Bernice\u2026. Hi.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;H-Hey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, alright. So we have a treasure chest\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. And the challenge&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Like a Pirate?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Yes, very similar to a pirate. Except&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s eyes light up.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. The challenge that you must endure as a team-building exercise, but I prefer to think of it as the ecstatic annihilation of the barriers between you and your teammates!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>\u2026. I\u2019m gonna go wait in the car.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;If you pass, you keep your items, and you now have lifetime membership to Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Club where you will be able to purchase items from any one of my fantastic roadside attractions that pepper this damned nation.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ahhhh. OK. I think I see where this is going, alright. So y&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And if you fail, you will be forced to surrender all of your purchases, by way of Bernice. I\u2019ve taken a snap bracelet from a crying toddler, I don\u2019t give a shit, try me.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 That\u2019s\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Elektra blushes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, nothing like manhandling children to really get it goin\u2019! Uh, oh god, well, alright. I kind of shrug; I mean, we don\u2019t have- I look back at y\u2019know, Kevin, Elektra and Mikey. We don\u2019t really have any supplies, I mean, and if we could avoid perpetrating credit fraud for as long as possible it might be worthwhile to see what this could, y\u2019know, do for us? What do you guys think?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>We get 4 bagels a day right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I wanna find the treasure.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, man cannot live on bagels alone so, and I think Mikey\u2019s into it. We should throw him a bone, he\u2019s been really good about driving us this whole time so\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Treasure Hunts do sound good but\u2026 Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;[Hyperactively] Like pirates! Like a parrot on your shoulder, or your hook hand!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah, definitely.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;What was that movie, with Cyndi Lauper\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god. I definitely don\u2019t know\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[sotto voce] I\u2019m talking about Goonies but&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, OHHH. WAIT. HOLD ON, THE MOVIE&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Cyndi Lauper is in The Goonies?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;She does a couple of the songs.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I did not know that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;How is Cyndi Lauper your touchstone into The Goonies? That\u2019s a deep dive.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I feel that that would be Elektra<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Cause that\u2019s Elektra\u2026. Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh it\u2019s Elektra, alright, alright. That\u2019s actually excellent alright. I\u2019m sorry for ruining your character moment with my incredulity about Cyndi Lauper. Yeah. I mean, I- Yeah. I\u2019d love to go, just like in that movie as well, to hunt for the treasure. If that\u2019s ok with everybody.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>If it doesn\u2019t take too long I guess, we were kind of\u2026 on the way to\u2026 something.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;An indeterminate direction? Yeah, no, I think we\u2019re good. I didn\u2019t really sense urgency\u2026 Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK\u2026 Well, so first I will allow you and I heard you mention Miss\u2026 What was your name again, Petua?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes, Petua.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhm, I heard you mention something about credit fraud. I hope&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>[Nervous stammers]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I hope things were okay.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Loudly] Oh that was actually a joke!&nbsp; No that was a joke.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh\u2026 Got it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;You should put it on a postcard, it\u2019s very funny if you think about it for a very long time.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah! Metaphorical.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And he just like moves over and he\u2019s just writing into, he\u2019s got like a word document that just says \u2018Postcard Ideas\u2019 and he just jots that down real quick: credit card fraud. I will find the joke later. As I was saying, in the beginning you are allowed to purchase items from Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Chest. You will still have to purchase them but you will have them available for use during your first challenge, and if you win, forevermore. And he hands you this laminated sheet of paper that has\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ooh, laminated.<br><b><br><\/b><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. It has this list of gear and\u2026 Yeah, it\u2019s got prices listed on there and you have your pick. I\u2019ll let y\u2019all peruse for a second.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oooh, I know what I want.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, is there anything jumping out at you?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah I want those shades. Absolutely I want those shades. I mean they\u2019re black, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, they\u2019re black.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I want the shades.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd<\/b>: Well then that confirms it for me, because that was my secondary pick! Can anyone guess what my primary pick is?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Hmmm. Maybe the Compressor?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Right on\u2026 Right on.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Shocker.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Kevin really wants the 4Loko.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;This is such- This is so good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh sh- That Password Cracker though\u2026 Shit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Is this just like a list of stuff?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah this is a list of stuff.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK I&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Petua goes over and reads it to, I go over and talk to Mikey. Hey Mikey, we\u2019ve got some stuff here, the treasure that\u2019s gonna be in the chest.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t know if I should do this out loud, over the podcast but I think Petua reads Mikey&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No I want you to, I want to hear what you\u2019re telling Mikey. Like I want to know how Petua is phrasing each of these things.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. We\u2019re doing this then.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2018Cause, A lot of these words on these page, he\u2019s not gonna understand.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. Well all of these items, in the pirate chest, right? Well they do different things. They can help us while we go around. So it looks like, there\u2019s a collar. Have you ever seen a collar before Mikey?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Yeah, like a dog wears.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah it helps you when you\u2019re-&#8230; It stops things from hurting you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, OK!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;And um, if you eat a berry that hurts your stomach, it\u2019ll help you out with that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t eat those berries, I know how to avoid them.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. No definitely, uh, alright. And then there\u2019s this electronic thing, I think Elektra\u2019s probably going to want that, but it helps, it\u2019ll help her to play her music a little bit better. Compressor, and it\u2019s a steel battery powered effects pedal, and allows a bard to reroll on any one spellcasting roll. So there are some Night-Vision Goggles. Have you ever, I don\u2019t know, when the sun goes down Mikey, if you can see still?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah, I can see.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda<\/b>: Ok, so you probably won\u2019t need those, but it\u2019ll help you out if anybody who does. The other thing is though, if somebody tries to attack your eyes it\u2019ll help you out there. So maybe that will be good \u2018cause y\u2019know, being able to see, that\u2019s pretty good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Then there\u2019s oh let\u2019s see, there\u2019s a bandana, it\u2019s a piece of fabric, it\u2019s called the Real Tree Bandana. And it\u2019ll be tied over, oh it\u2019ll, well\u2026 OK. If you\u2019re outside, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh-huh?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda<\/b>: And you have to sneak around, it might help you be a little more quiet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh I\u2019m really good at being quiet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and then there\u2019s a drink! It\u2019s called 4Loko, it\u2019s the banned formula. There used to be a drink that&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hell yeah! [Chuckles]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah! And it\u2019ll help you wake up if you pass out.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah and y\u2019know there\u2019s some other things that\u2019ll happen but that\u2019ll be the gist of it. And oooh! I think, Petua looks at the laser pointer, there\u2019s a Laser Pointer!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s a Laser Pointer.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well it\u2019s a dot. Um, Y\u2019know, it\u2019s a very very small light? And you can point it anywhere you want.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey just looks at you totally blankly.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;You can shoot it up into the sky and make airplane pilots crash!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I think pulls out her, she has a wristwatch and she kind of lets it catch the sun? And the reflection just kind of darts around the ceiling of this place. Like that Mikey but smaller and red.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah\u2026 And then there\u2019s a pair of sunglasses, which I think I\u2019m gonna get, and they uh, you see through illusions or anything that\u2019s not real. Well, not really I guess but they\u2019re gonna help me figure out if there\u2019s anything that\u2019s not right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;And then there\u2019s the uh, password cracker. Which, oooh, that could be interesting. So, this might not be your jam either Mikey but do you remember when we were at the police station and they had that computer there\u2026? Yeah so this will help us if we ever need to break into any of those.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, that thing didn\u2019t look very strong. I bet I could break into it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, no that wasn\u2019t one of the good ones.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhh, OK. Like there\u2019s bigger ones.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Bigger\u2026 Well sometimes the better ones are actually smaller, which is pretty crazy, but yes. And then there\u2019s some Body Oil which will help, uh, that might be good too. It\u2019ll help you move quicker I guess, and uh you can\u2019t, if you wash it off it doesn\u2019t work anymore but yeah it\u2019ll help you move more freely. And then, hmmm. There\u2019s a\u2026 Pierre Pinkenelly\u2019s Hammer. Petua kind of frowns at this one. It\u2019s a hammer that is a, mm, I\u2019m sorry. It, uh, it helps you\u2026 attack I guess. And I kind of look up from the list. Is that, sorry could you\u2026 ? I go over to the guy who was talking to us and I uh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes! Yes, was there something you needed?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, t-this hammer\u2026 that\u2019s not really, what can you&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Everything on the list is 100% guaranteed to be just as listed and 125% listed at manufacturer retail price!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026. Really?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes! These are the privileges you get when you join Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure Club or whatever it was.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;So, so you\u2019re telling me- Alright, wait.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>I like to imagine that he just ended the sentence that way. Like, he just can\u2019t even remember what he makes his own thing called.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god\u2026 So, Petua looks deeply disturbed by the fact that Pierre Pinkenelly\u2019s Hammer is on sale for 249.99. And the list, I just have the list crumpled up in my hand and I say Um\u2026 While I definitely am in, do you guys, here\u2026 And I just hand the list to everyone and go quiet. Um, yeah. So that\u2019s my jam right now.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You can buy as many things as you want, there\u2019s no limit\u2026 ! I mean, I suppose there\u2019s a limit on your credit card but&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, right\u2026 It is definitely not fraudulent.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;No. No!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. Your completely above board credit card!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I, I think\u2026. Yes. I might try and buy this one with cash actually. Paper trails\u2026 not really my thing for something this important. I want the hammer! And I also definitely want the shades, but the hammer\u2026 I just want to see it, do you have it here with you!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;He brings the hammer out and he sets it down on the counter. Yeah, you can take a swing with it and you can do whatever you like. But y\u2019know, gotta pay for it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Petua just holds the hammer. Well! If you guys want to buy anything\u2026 go hog-wild.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I\u2019m definitely into the Compressor and the Password Cracker.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK\u2026 Um, Mikey anything catch your fancy?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey doesn\u2019t really know what, despite having these things described, doesn\u2019t have any real sense of what\u2019s going to be useful, so\u2026 He\u2019s just going to pass that decision on to other people.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mkay. And did anything pique Kevin\u2019s interest?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh I mean, he\u2019s all over that 4Loko.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Yeah, yeah. Um\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Uh, I think that Petua gets him the Laser Pointer just so he can know what it is.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Can we- Can I ask why this laser pointer is SIXTY DOLLARS?!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Very Powerful.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s very good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Is it like one of those extreme lasers, burns through paper, those kind of things?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s like 1, 1 watt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s, it is\u2026 it\u2019s pretty good? But it&#8217;s very overpriced. So I\u2019ve totalled up your total and looks like we\u2019re going to be\u2026 It\u2019s about uh, $769. Is that going to be cash or credit?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Nice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Credit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Credit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, OK. And he, I assume you pull out the store purchasing card?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Of course.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, yeah but wait a second? I do definitely buy Mikey a snow globe also.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Awwwww!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey wants the one that has the most trees in it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Awwww!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>There\u2019s one, this is just me editorializing here, but there\u2019s a beautiful one with I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever been in the forests outside of Santa Fe, just gorgeous. And yeah, there\u2019s a snow globe, despite the fact that it doesn&#8217;t really snow a lot up there but, whatever.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean it doesn\u2019t really snow up in Albuquerque either, but that was still the first one you mentioned.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Kevin also buys a hand-picked stack of postcards.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hell yes, ok, cool.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, what kind of pickled goods we got here?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Can I have this too? You turn around and Mikey\u2019s got a novelty T-shirt which is just\u2026 a pug\u2019s face, but over the entire shirt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chuckling] God\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Are there any of those rusty metal rifle that says \u201cWe Don\u2019t Call The Cops\u201d?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Jesus.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh, Jesus\u2026 So, yes to the pug shirt. Yes to the weird cut-out rifle because I know what you\u2019re fucking talking about and those things terrify me. And\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;They\u2019re awful.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, OK, he\u2019s totalled it all up its 869 dollars, it always just keeps ending in sixty-nine!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Nice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And so he says Could I have that credit card please?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yyyyep.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, so he takes the card and I\u2026 um\u2026 Kevin I need you to just roll me a d20.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok\u2026. That is a 5\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh-oh..<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[wincing] Oooh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Hmmm. How am I gonna do this.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, wait a minute, hold on one second!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>I have a very difficult time believing that between the four of us, none of us have any money, right? I mean, we must have something. We probably rolled for, I don\u2019t know some sort of PP for dollar conversion rate? Is<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I don\u2019t know, I don\u2019t know\u2026.&nbsp; It\u2019s kinda, I mean, I would imagine\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>I have this. Mikey reaches into his back pocket and just pulls out a leather wallet and hands it to you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Honestly? Ok. So I\u2019m going through the party right now? And we\u2019ve got \u2018mechanic\u2019, \u2018raised by sasquatches\u2019, and \u2018Soundcloud musician\u2019 so yeah, I would say that Petua is probably the only one who is Not flat broke.|<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Actually wait&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Well Mikey has all the stuff that was in the winnebago.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s true.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, OK. I take the wallet from Mikey, and open it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s clearly not Mikey\u2019s wallet.<br><b><br><\/b><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, Um\u2026 What, ok, could I, could I play some\u2026 Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Go ahead. Nonono, there\u2019s a couple credit cards, couple\u2026 there\u2019s a few 20s in there.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mhmm. Well, alright. I pull out one of the credit cards and hand it to uh, Uncle Stickey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh good, you have another card, because there was a problem with that. Here, Kevin, was it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh yeah. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Here you go. You might want to call your bank about that one.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mm-Hmm. See that\u2019s why we joke about credit fraud, because it\u2019s happened to us, and we\u2019re just trying to cope. Um, anyways\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, that\u2019s very, very understandable.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhhhh yes\u2026. Yes.<br><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh jeez. Oh god. Ok just\u2026 Again, for the people at home, Cassidy just threw an image into the discord of a\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;If any of you are familiar with themountain.com? That\u2019s where you need to go for all your t-shirt needs.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I will include a link in the description of the podcast where you can purchase that for 22 American Dollars.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s a fucking steal, and you know it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s a lot of pug face for twenty-two bucks.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>It\u2019s, it\u2019s\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s a whole body!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s at least 50 dollars of pug face.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>It\u2019s a very good pug face.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, if, if we\u2019re just going pound for pound on pug face then yes, it\u2019s a great deal. Amanda, I do need you to roll a d20.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>OK. Don\u2019t fail me now dice-a-roni. [rolling dice] Ohhh! Do I add anything to it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Not that you know of.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s an 18!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK! Ok. Oh, it looks like that transaction went through. Congratulations, here are your items. And he kinda distributes them out among you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I give the laser pointer to Mikey and tell him Don\u2019t shine it in your eyes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Ok!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Continue.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Now! In order to retain these prizes you must pass this Gauntlet of Challenges which I have for you are you ready for the Gauntlet of Challenges?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Wait\u2026 If the whole point is to retain our treasures, why did we have to pay for them?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;That was gonna be my question too, but I do think that, for some of these there\u2019s a significant mark down to their actual value. Although value is kind of fake, but yeah that\u2019s a good question.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, I mean, they\u2019re nice things they\u2019re not\u2026 I can\u2019t just give them out to anybody who passes the challenges, still have to buy them. You just, when you join Uncle Stickey\u2019s Treasure thing you are\u2026 marking yourself as a higher status. Higher, uh, class of adventurer. And uh, so you get cool stuff. You get to buy cool stuff! Some people don\u2019t even get to buy this cool stuff! I\u2019ve had to take it away from people&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Right. I mean I think we just DID buy it. I think we just did buy it is the thing, and you just handed it to us.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. Yes, that is correct. But as I said&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s not a great\u2026 [snort]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>As I said before; Bernice WILL take all of your items away\u2026 if you do not pass these challenges.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ooooh I forgot about Bernice. Well, fine.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s Bernice up to?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hey!&#8230; Motherfuckers better not run. Got my eye on you. And she points two fingers at her eyes and then two fingers at Elektra.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Elektra giggles.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I know your type.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[snorts and laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I think you ARE her type. Anyways\u2026 That\u2019s what this podcast needed: dyke drama. Alright. I\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I figured it was probably an eventuality.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s inevitable, I mean you saw, I couldn\u2019t use any words, I went full Agent Cody Banks when we met turtleneck woman last time. I hold my hammer and I put my\u2026 Actually, you know what? Fuck it. I put my sunglasses on, indoors, and I look at the guy and I say I\u2019m ready. So let\u2019s do it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;This is a-, I wanna just really quickly, because it was never mentioned. Those sunglasses, again, when you put them on your whole world goes black and white. They are referred to as \u2018Roddy\u2019s Shades\u2019.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mmm.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>And I\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh. Oh! Oh my god.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Thank you. It\u2019s a They Live&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;OH MY GOD! JESUS CHRIST. IT\u2019S A THEY LIVE THING.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>She got it\u2026<br><b><br><\/b><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Did y\u2019all really not get that till now?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;No! \u2018Cause I- Ohhhh, my goooood\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What else would that, like what other Roddy would that be?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean\u2026 Not everybody thinks about They Live as the Roddy Roddy Piper movie, babe.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I, well&#8211; I haven\u2019t seen They Live!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, I didn\u2019t\u2026 I just piece it together that name until just now.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, I didn\u2019t either, but\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ugh\u2026 yeah. Me neither. Jesus. Alright\u2026 Ohmigod so no, can we just break this down for just one hot delicious second?!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m wearing the sunglasses from They Live and holding onto Pierre Pinoncelli\u2019s hammer that he broke, I mean- I don\u2019t even know if I want to go into the quibbles of delicious that&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh! I just looked it up and I get it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Okay, cool. So that\u2019s what we\u2019ve got. Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, so, for the folks at home, like&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t get that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, let\u2019s, let\u2019s all remember that this is a podcast that\u2019s being recorded for human beings.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah, alright&#8211; Well OK! Pierre Pinoncelli is a performance artist, conceptual artist\u2026&nbsp; And the thing he\u2019s most famous for is\u2026 You\u2019ve all heard of the guy going up and punching a Monet but Pierre Pinoncelli did it first and for art reasons. And he took a hammer to Duchamp\u2019s \u201cFountain\u201d so- which is the urinal speaking of piss-related things. He did a lot of other stuff but y\u2019know, the conceptual destruction of art pieces for art\u2019s sake is his deal.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I just googled the name, he has a really really short wikipedia&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 but like so short that it\u2019s actually intriguing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah no I mean, in terms of like\u2026 I don\u2019t know, like, clout in the art world? I\u2019m not really sure. I don\u2019t hear about him a lot, but\u2026 He\u2019s out there! And he did try and bust up a Duchamp so that\u2019s his game.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, well, now that we\u2019ve talked about the history of your items was there anything else that you wanted to discuss before we begin the challenge?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;You got pants?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Do I\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;These ones don\u2019t fit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean, I\u2019m wearing pants. OH! Yes.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;While you were all talking, by the way? Mikey changed out of his oversized \u2018dad\u2019 button down and into the, although better fitting, still quite large pug t-shirt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>We\u2019ve got swim trunks. They come in two colors, both of them are horrible but we do have something in your size Mikey. And he hands you, just like\u2026 it\u2019s\u2026 it\u2019s a little too neon to be Pepto Bismol pink? But it\u2019s just like that, but turned up a little bit. And then yellow.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What is it? Like a pair of swim trunks?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Swim trunks. And yeah they\u2019re pink and yellow.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Mikey starts unbuttoning his pants.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhhh alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, oh. This is\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;He\u2019s taking them off.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I do not have a safe&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Stickey\u2019s After Dark!<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Pants are down.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Now we know why it\u2019s called Uncle Stickey\u2019s. Alright\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh lord.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;And I just, for the kids at home, I really feel it\u2019s not in Mikey\u2019s character to wear underwear but I could be wrong about that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s totally not.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeaaah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh noooo.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey doesn\u2019t even know that underwear are a thing that exists.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alright, Petua looks in the other direction.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, the swim trunks are on.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, mmmm\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Sir, I apologize.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;We do have a bathroom. I just\u2026 wow.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I don\u2019t like these. He\u2019s kind of tugging at his crotch weirdly.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh my god\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;He starts taking them off.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[chortling]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god\u2026 Ahkay\u2026 Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Do you have a bigger size?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Stammering]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;The pants are back on now.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Good.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;No thanks.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Hurriedly] OK, I turn to Uncle Stickey. Please, for the love of God let\u2019s start before anything else happens\u2026 like that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mmm. Yes, that\u2019s probably for the best. And he leads you to a door that goes down\u2026 You notice, it\u2019s a stairwell going down, underground. It looks kind of dark down there. Can\u2019t really see what\u2019s down there but he gestures for you to walk ahead of him, down the staircase.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;This is not suspicious\u2026 or weird. Not at all.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No I wouldn\u2019t say it\u2019s suspicious or weird at all! Me and Bernice we run a\u2026 a tight ship here, don\u2019t we?&#8230; Yeah, alright Uncle Stickey.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh is Bernice following behind us I\u2019m assuming?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah yeah, part of the challenge. Don\u2019t worry about it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah it\u2019s\u2026 great.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You go into this, and you actually had to go down quite a bit of ways. Welcome to the challenge course everybody! You\u2019ll see we have here our first challenge, which should be The Great Wall of Friendship! And you see a 25 foot high wooden wall. And he says Well, so as with most walls your challenge here is to get up and over that wall but uh, there\u2019s a little twist! My darling, darling niece, Bernice, will be standing at the top of the wall. And she will try to punch you in the mouth if you come to the top of the wall\u2026. So, figure that out.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, h- could you run that down, I\u2019m so sorry, one more time for me?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;There\u2019s a wall. There\u2019s a Bernice on top of the wall. She will punch you if you get on top of the wall, you need to get over the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 Right. And just to make sure, I mean, what are the, uh, rules here? Are we functioning as normal law-abiding citizens? I mean, I don\u2019t really want to hurt your niece but like, how tough&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You can try, jeez, oh my god. Look, take your swings, I\u2019ll be fine\u2026 Uh, I assure you, Bernice is uh, quite, quite weathered. She can handle whatever you throw at her.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>[Resignedly] Alright. I mean, I\u2019m down for that. Alright\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Is it at all possible to walk around the wall?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>Well, that\u2026 It is&nbsp;<i>possible<\/i>, you don\u2019t&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I think he said we have to go over it. I don\u2019t think that counts.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;[sighs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You have to go over it! It\u2019s a rule of the challenge.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;[blows a raspberry]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. Well\u2026 I guess, I guess we\u2019re gonna go up the wall then. Um, hold on one second, sorry\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Bernice is now seated at the top of the wall, and she is just kinda looking down at all of you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Rustling Papers] Does anybody have a Grappling Hook? And by that I mean, does anybody have an Adventurer\u2019s Kit which would have a Grappling Hook in it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhhh\u2026..<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;What kind of wall, is this just like a wood wall, with no hand-holds or anything\u2026?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;No handles, no.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;And approximately how tall is it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Twenty feet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Do we have to ALL get over it?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes it\u2019s teamwork! You ALL have to get over the wall!<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I have rope, but not a grappling hook.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, well that\u2019s something at least. Um\u2026 Okay. Hold on one second. I mean, does anybody have any ideas?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I could carry you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Well that was nice of you.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well\u2026 That\u2019s a good idea Mikey, but could you climb up the wall?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah. Maybe not like this. Or, not like this and carry you at the same time.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Right. Well, Mikey, I mean you don\u2019t have to carry us if you could get over the wall, uh, you could take the rope with you and hang it over the wall. Then the rest of us could come up.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 Oh, ok! I can do that.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright!<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I also have, I just googled this because I didn\u2019t know what it meant previously, I have a piton as well, I got a piton.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Piton?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Pitons. They\u2019re like, climbing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I think Mikey is the man of the hour. Let\u2019s hear what he\u2019s gonna do!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, so you pass Mikey the rope.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mm-hmm?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;And then\u2026 Something happens which is deeply disturbing. From a mechanical aspect, this is Mikey\u2019s first use of the Wild Shape ability to turn into a gorilla.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ahhh! I love it, love the concept!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;But, that\u2019s not really what it looks like as far as this world goes? This is more like some Altered States evolutionary regression kind of stuff?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[Less Appreciably] Oh\u2026 Ohhh Jesus.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;So\u2026 Just some sort of fucked-up Gorilla-esque human ancestor is what you\u2019re seeing? But wearing Mikey\u2019s pug t-shirt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Do the swim trunks rip off, Incredible Hulk style?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Well he\u2019s not wearing the swim trunks anymore.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh right right, he\u2019s wearing the&#8211; Ahhh&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;They bunched and, it was the netting. It just wasn\u2019t\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, that\u2019s not good. Alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;But anyway that gives me a Climb speed of 30 feet a round? So I feel that\u2019s enough to get over this pretty easily.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok! Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Holy shit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;That is\u2026 fucking amazing. I just [clears throat] On an unrelated note, this is just what Mikey\u2019s doing. I just wanted to state on the podcast: I LOVE MY WIFE. Um, anyway!<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Chuckling]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey, you, in this horrifying gorilla-human\u2026 Uh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m sort of imagining it to be like an orangutan but without the hair?<\/p>\n<p>[Various Noises of Horror and Disgust]<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy<\/b>: Like something distinctly inhuman and apelike? But doesn\u2019t cleanly correspond to any ape you\u2019ve ever seen in your life.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>So kind of like if you look at those charts of which prehistoric creatures got left behind by the path of evolution and don\u2019t exist anymore? Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[shudders]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, Ok, there\u2019s some fucking missing link shit going on here.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda<\/b>: Mm-hmmm!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And so this, this thing jumps up. Climbs up the wall and Bernice is a little-bit taken aback. But uh, as you climb up she does take a swing at Gorilla\u2026 fucking Gorilla-Mikey. Uh, let\u2019s see, that one\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;You know what\u2019s funny is\u2026 Turning into a gorilla, or an ape rather because there\u2019s no specific gorilla, actually&nbsp;<i>reduces<\/i>&nbsp;how many hit points I have.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Hmm! What does it make your&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Like it doesn\u2019t actual&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;What\u2019s your AC?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, it\u2019s actually the same. Well, it\u2019s 12.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Twelve? Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s AC is twelve and so is the ape\u2019s, so\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. So, she tries, she takes a swing and she misses. Ah, aw drats! Ah beans.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I cast a spell at Bernice, as much as we love Bernice, I feel like it\u2019s the only way we can get her off that wall so Mikey can&#8230; Is Mikey on top of the wall now?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, Mikey\u2019s on top of the wall, Mikey has the rope.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. Well I think, I mean, I guess\u2026 [More Hesitantly] Should we yell over at Mikey to let down the rope?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh I imagined he was holding one end of it and y\u2019all were holding the other.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Ahhhh, ok. Alright, um\u2026. Well shit! I guess we\u2019ve got a way up now! I go over to the rope and start climbing the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok, ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Hammer in hand.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, uh, make me an Athletics check.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 mmm that\u2019s not bad. Yeah athletics, definitely not\u2026 I got a 14 on my check.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Fourteen? Ok, Ok, great, fantastic. You are able to make it up the wall. You are, you\u2019re at the top and Bernice kinda doesn\u2019t know which one of you to go at but she kind of kicks at Petua\u2026 Oooh, I know that hits. Yeah, she just connects boot to face on Petua, and I need you to make me a Dexterity saving throw.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mkay\u2026 [Rolls Dice, Cries Out] It\u2019s a nat. 20!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK! You\u2019re able to hold onto that rope and you\u2019re able to make it up to the top. By the way, you did take two damage, just, yeah\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Even though it was a- oh, guess it did it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You did save on the Dex throw to not fall off the wall, so\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Right, right right, do I get to attack back or no?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You can if you want.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, Jesus, yeah, I\u2019m definitely about to do that shit. I wipe my probably bruised and bleeding nose, if she kicked me in the face, and I look at my hammer and I say \u201cUh, I guess this is worth a shot\u201d and I swing it at her knees.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chortles]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh god\u2026. Jesus<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Roll to hit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean not, not like hard. Just enough in the knees. [Rolls Dice] With a hammer.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Just enough to get a message across.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, hold on sorry, that was a\u2026 What do I add to an attack roll? Just nothing, just to see if it hit right? Sorry. It\u2019s been a while.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhmmm, yeah for you, for a physical attack- Well, the hammer is, I think it has a +1 or something to it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, it\u2019s a simple-&#8230; yeah for Warlock spellcasting but not for this. I got a 17 anyways, so.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, ok. So you manage to hit Bernice right in the fucking knees. And she is, she takes the hit, how much damage does that do?<br><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It does 1 d6+2? Um, but, oh god I feel so bad. That\u2019s 7 damage.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ah don\u2019t worry about it, Bernice is ok. She\u2019s on one knee, yeah, Mikey has the rope. Petua is safely at the top of the tower. Bernice, she kinda seems like she\u2026 Petua and Mikey might be lost causes. She\u2019s looking at the remainder of the party. Gonna see if she can try to prevent one of y\u2019all from getting up.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;All right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, go for it Elektra.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019ll go. I wanna try to put her to sleep.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh fuck.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laugh] All Right.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;So I\u2019m gonna y\u2019know, direct the speaker in her direction and do some soft soft synths&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Some chillwave.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2026 to put this large woman to sleep.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. I assume there\u2019s like a save I have to do now right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Uhm, let me see\u2026 [murmurs] \u2026 No.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Wait, you can\u2019t just put people to sleep without<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, hold on. OK: Spell sends creatures into a magical slumber, roll 5 d8. The total is how many Hit Points of creatures this spell could effect. Creatures within range are affected in ascending order of their current hit points. Starting with the creature that has the lowest current hit points, each creature affected by the spell falls unconscious until the spell ends. Sleeper takes damage when someone uses an action to shake or slap the sleeper awake.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;So really it has to do if I match her hit points.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes, roll those die for me.<\/p>\n<p>[Lullaby-like Ambient Synths are punched in]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m feeling sleepy already. Um\u2026 Yeah, roll those die.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[croons the \u2018Lullaby &amp; Good Night\u2019 melody]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019s that, and now\u2026 [Rolls Dice] That\u2019s 8\u2026 13\u2026 15\u2026 23\u2026 28.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Twenty-Eight? She uh, kinda blinks a little bit. But then she just kind of shakes her head, and then she Huh. Got some sick tunes kid. Come on, get it. She\u2019s on her feet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Um, as my bonus?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Mm-hmm?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I will\u2026 cast Bardic Inspiration on\u2026 Kevin hasn\u2019t gone up yet, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Nah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I will use that on you then.<\/p>\n<p>[Synth Horn Fanfare]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;It gives you a Bardic Inspiration die, a d6, which within the next 10 minutes the creature can roll the die and add the number rolled to one Ability Check, Attack Roll or Saving Throw.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Creature can wait until after it rolls the d20 before deciding to use the Bardic Inspiration die, but MUST decide before the DM decides whether the roll succeeds or fails. Once it\u2019s rolled it\u2019s lost.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Cool, cool. Alright.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;And then I\u2019m gonna try to scale the wall with\u2026 Can I do that at the same time with movement? OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, sure! Go ahead, go ahead, roll me an athletic check.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[rolls dice and sputters] That\u2019s, that\u2019s a, that is a 1.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s a one? OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;That is a one.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh, just flashbacks of gym class.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Guh.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Elektra just gets on the rope and\u2026 I don\u2019t know. Maybe it\u2019s just sweaty palms \u2018cause Bernice is just&nbsp;<i>staring&nbsp;<\/i>Elektra down just as soon as she gets on the rope? And you\u2019re just not able to get up. The rope. At all! And uh, Kevin!<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;What are you gonna try?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Well, as a rogue\u2026 I don\u2019t, I feel like I don\u2019t have too many options in this situation. I\u2019m gonna try to point and go \u201cHey look at that!\u201d and then try to sneak up the rope really quick.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs] Are you gonna like throw something, or\u2026 ?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Uhhh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You\u2019re gonna try to distract uh, Bernice\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah I&#8217;m just gonna be like &#8216;hey, hey look over there!&#8217;<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Hey! Uhm\u2026 sorry. I didn&#8217;t wanna interrupt.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;No please do.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;But uh Kevin, and everyone\u2026 Our goal is to get over the wall right?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>And we have to be over the wall. What if\u2026 I&#8217;m just throwing this out here, cause it&#8217;s obviously just gonna be more and more difficult when there are more of us on the wall and Bernice keeps trying to kick us down. What if Mikey grabbed her and went down the wall, and like, crawled down it; because he&#8217;s still a gorilla right? And then I hold the rope?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:&nbsp;<\/b>That&#8217;s fun. I like that.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean if it&#8217;s difficult if we don&#8217;t have any spells to cast or something but also if Kevin if you wanted to try something I&#8217;m also down for that. I don&#8217;t wanna\u2026<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I don&#8217;t have any spells, so\u2026<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright\u2026 yeah\u2026 I feel like that&#8217;s a thing that can happen right? I think that Mikey can successfully rappel down the wall holding somebody or at least&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey is shaking, or, he&#8217;s uh nodding vigorously.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright, Mikey? D&#8217;you wanna do that?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Nodding more vigorously.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright! I kinda just step aside and hold the rope! And I look over at Bernice and I say Hey, shouldn&#8217;t have kicked me in the face!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I make a grapple attempt then.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok. Roll me that strength check, I\u2019m contesting it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I got a 19. Or sorry, a 20.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You got a 20, ok. You&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Not like a natural 20 just 17+3.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You are able to successfully grapple Bernice. She\u2019s just kind of struggling against you though.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>OK as part of, so\u2026 When I shapeshifted I adopt a stat line of the animal in question, including its actions. So being an ape means I automatically get multi-attack? Because I get two fists.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chortles] Right\u2026 !<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;So the grapple counts as one of those attacks, I\u2019m just going to use the other attack to just straight up, swing on her. Like if you could imagine this ape, this fucked-up ape creature having her in a headlock, just like, yeah. That\u2019s what I\u2019m doing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey\u2019s a little heated from that kicking Petua in the face\u2026. Uh, do I\u2026 ? I just want to look\u2026 Do you know the grappling rules that well? I\u2019ve got them in front of me here. I just want to know if there\u2019s if having\u2026 If attacking a grappled creature, there\u2019s any penalty to their AC or anything?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Um, I\u2019ll give you advantage.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s just like, I\u2019m probably going to do this a lot, so I just want to know how this actually works? I have played many grapple-fighters in my life, because I am that person.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Shocking! Shocking! I would\u2019ve never guessed.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Actually I\u2019ve only played two. But both of them were really successful\u2026 OK I got a 15.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Fifteen? Ok, you connect with that swing. Um?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I got an 8.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. Her nose is very bloody. Sorry, what was\u2026 go ahead Amanda?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah no, I was just wondering if Mikey was planning on jumping off down the wall now that he\u2019s got Bernice held back. Because I\u2019m just wondering if having somebody physically restraining Bernice is like, possible? Since that seems to be the obstacle? That was what I was wondering about. But if that\u2019s not a thing&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>Oh I just figured that would be probably a two-turn kind of operation.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Ohhhh.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, sure. She\u2019s restrained but now she\u2019s going to attack with Disadvantage. She rolled a\u2026 13!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;So just against my AC?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Normally that\u2019d be a hit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;That\u2019d be\u2026 OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah I don\u2019t know what, again I don\u2019t know what the grappling rules are but we\u2019ll just call it a hit for now I guess.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Well, yeah. I gave her Disadvantage based on the grappling.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok yeah, that\u2019s enough for me.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And ok, so she manages to punch Mikey in the face for 3 damage.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;And, uh, yeah! Again once\u2026 now the field\u2019s open. Anyone who wants to just try something can go for it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m just gonna try to climb the darn rope.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK. Yeah, make me an Athletics check.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Whuh that is a\u2026 That is a 6.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I like that this is a party of people that just didn\u2019t go to or failed gym class.<\/p>\n<p>[Assorted Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s very true.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;The best part is I said that referring to the characters, but that\u2019s probably true of the players as well.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;They don\u2019t make, they didn\u2019t make us try to climb ropes. I was good at&#8211; Yeah, that never happened.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Wow\u2026 what!?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Well I just meant that, but did you fail gym class?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;No!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh well, you\u2019re a square then.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I did\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;I wouldn\u2019t have been able to do the rope thing, but they never had us do it! So I passed.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[sotto voce] There we go.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;We\u2019re all very successful and that\u2019s why we\u2019re making a Role-Playing podcast for the internet. That\u2019s very clear.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 Mhmm<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;So\u2026 Robyn what was that Athletics check again?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;It was a six.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It was a six? Ok. So once again, yeah, Kevin just kind of flails\u2026 Just trying to get up that rope, is not able to do it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Lemme give it a try.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Athletics check\u2026 [rolls dice] Goddamnit! That\u2019s a 5.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;HA!<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Woooow\u2026.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Chuckling] Just everybody\u2026 I- I dunno guys, it might be time to start thinking about a change in strategy.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah, climbing up that rope, huh? Uh\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Petua, is there something you wanna try?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, um, alright. The only thing that I could think of to do besides to get everybody up and over the wall is to topple the wall, and I feel like that won\u2019t work, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m not gonna tell you if that will work.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I feel like it\u2019ll work if we\u2019re given enough time.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah. But how solid is this wall?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s uh, it does not\u2026 Plywood and 2x4s and it\u2019s a lot heavier on the plywood side than the 2x4s.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright. I think I would like to try and, I guess, grab the rope? And, well, hmm. What\u2019s the best side to do this on? \u2018Cause Mikey\u2019s still fighting Bernice.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Correct.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright I think I\u2019m gonna let Mikey finish fighting Bernice and see how that pans out before I do anything.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;OK, Mikey, what\u2019re you gonna do?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I just wanna like\u2026 I guess this would fall under the \u2018shove\u2019 action? But I just wanna, like, throw the top of the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Giggles] Good shit. Good shit.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Okay.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Like on the far side, not where Electra and Kevin are?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2018cause I just think that\u2019s another opposed strength test\u2026 Well it says I can either\u2026 Like drag her off the wall, because I\u2019ve got her grappled? Orrr just shove.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I think it would be good if you were on the other side of the wall with her, actually. So that might be a thing worth doing.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;OK then I don\u2019t have to roll for that I just can move her&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Okay.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:&nbsp;<\/b>\u2026 and drag her, but I can only move at half my speed.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;\u2018Drag ha\u2019.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;But I kind of just, \u2018backpack\u2019 her and fall from the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs]<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Yes. I love this.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Holy shit. OK\u2026 Now hold on. You just said you fall off of the 20 foot wall?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey did get UP the wall without a 20 foot rope!<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 ?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>So like, I feel like going down is just as easy.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m gonna make sure she\u2019s on the bottom when we land, but\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[gleefully] Yeaaaaaah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;[Laughs] So you just, you just like&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey is not especially worried about hurting himself in this scenario.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I didn\u2019t think so\u2026 ! Um, so Mikey took 3 points of damage from that fall. And Bernice, she seemed to take that fall a lot harder, obviously. But she is just flat-out, on the ground, groaning. I\u2019m gonna say that you lost grapple control of her when you landed.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Ok.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uh, Electra and Kevin?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Alright.<\/p>\n<p>[Synth Music Cues Up, Specifically an 8-Bit rendition of a Vangelis standard]<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Then yeah I guess, gotta just go.<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m holding the rope.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Just do it again. You\u2019ve got fucking, Chariots of Fire music playing while you\u2019re rolling this dice roll. Let\u2019s do it.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I love\u2026 was that Vangelis, I think?<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;That was.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;[Rolls Dice, then in disbelief] It\u2019s\u2026 and 11.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s an eleven! Oh my god! She stuggled, but Elektra makes it to the top of the wall! It is\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;[Hums the \u201cChariots of Fire\u201d theme]<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah, it\u2019s a little embarrassing how much you struggle? Especially with the other ones, but hey! You\u2019re the bard, whatever! Kevin!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;I\u2019m not used to climbing stuff with my gear on, y\u2019know?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Um, how long does Bardic Inspiration last again?<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Um\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;It\u2019s kinda just \u2018till you use it, right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh I thought there was a time limit on there. Alright, cool.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;You lose it eventually, but like\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Yeah\u2026. OK cool.<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Like, when you sleep or something, I think\u2026<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Cool so I\u2019m also gonna try to just climb that rope again.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:&nbsp;<\/b>OK.<\/p>\n<p><b>Robyn:<\/b>&nbsp;Eh\u2026. Alright, got a 14.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Fourteen, OK!<\/p>\n<p><b>Syd:<\/b>&nbsp;Nice!<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Kevin is able to make it up the wall and all three of you are, you\u2019re on top of the wall\u2026 I gotta tell you, with Bernice incapacitated on the other side of the wall I think the uh, the descent is going to be a lot less exciting. I\u2019m just going to\u2026 You all three make it down from the wall. Congratulations. Uh, good job. Streamers, come out of the base of the wall.<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Where was Uncle Stickey this whole time?<\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Uncle Stickey was watching.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;So he&#8217;s just chill with us beating up his niece<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:<\/b>&nbsp;Beating up his niece, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;Oh yeah. Like he said, Bernice can take it. Bernice is gonna be fine, don&#8217;t worry. So, so&#8211;<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>[Soft synths creep in]<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean I think we proved Bernice can&#8217;t take Mikey.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Amanda:&nbsp;<\/b>This is true.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p><b>Lilith:<\/b>&nbsp;I mean\u2026 yeah, but she&#8217;s alive! Bernice kinda gets up and dusts herself off. There&#8217;s lots of streamers and confetti. Good job! You&#8217;ve passed the first challenge! This is but one of three, but you&#8217;re doing great so far. Congratulations, Mikey! Uh, do we still call you Mikey?<\/p>\n<p><b>Cassidy:<\/b>&nbsp;Mikey nods.<\/p>\n<p>[Skagos \u2013 Blossoms Will Sprout From The Carcass fades in]<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>[Outro \u2013 Music Break<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>(untranscribed lyrics)<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the fury of the storm<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the endless falling rain<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the growing of the dark<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the thrive of decay<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the voice of woe<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the call of the moon<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the cold retribution<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>The dark rider known as death]<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>Lilith: Hey everyone, Lilith here with a quick reminder. Just a couple things, couple programming notes. 1: We\u2019re on iTunes now so you can subscribe to us, review us, that really helps us out quite a bit. Also we have a Patreon now! If you go to patreon.com\/ghostpuncher and you can kick in a little bit if you\u2019ve been enjoying the show, if you want to help support it that\u2019d be very, very great. As of right now I\u2019m running the whole show out of my own pocket, hosting fees, recording equipment, everything like that. Which I\u2019ve always been happy to do because I love this show. But if you want to help out, make things a little bit easier for me, I\u2019m not exactly rolling in cast. Once again that\u2019s patreon.com\/ghostpuncher. Thanks!<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>TRANSCRIPT &#8211; EPISODE 4Uncle Stickey&#8217;s House of Humours &#8211; vol I (Transcription by Micha Cavaseno, contact for transcription work&nbsp;here) [Music Fades In:&nbsp; Skagos \u2013 Blossoms Will Sprout From the Carcass]Lilith:&nbsp;Previously, on Ghostpuncher Corps. Torment! Ear-splitting, mind-shattering torment. Cassidy:&nbsp;OK well Mikey\u2019s gonna push that button unless somebody stops him. Amanda:&nbsp;Yeah\u2026 Coulda called that. Cassidy:&nbsp;Like I\u2019m walking&hellip; <br \/> <a class=\"button small blue\" href=\"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/corps\/transcript-hub\/episode-4\/\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":117,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-161","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/161","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=161"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/161\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":236,"href":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/161\/revisions\/236"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ghostpuncher.net\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}